


Prospect

by hyesungyeols



Category: INFINITE (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), Shinhwa (Band), Super Junior, VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other, almost slice of life, based on real life experiences and people, cousins struggling together stays together, it's my first time to write here please don't kill me, literally slow, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24162583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyesungyeols/pseuds/hyesungyeols
Summary: “Speaking of dorms, Junghyuk’s parents gifted me with an apartment at the City Jungle Complex,” Pilkyo nonchalantly starts. The cousins’ eyes widen when they heard that 1) it was gifted by his boyfriend’s parents and 2) it’s at one of the most expensive apartment complexes in Gangnam.“Are you casually flexing on us about your new apartment, hyung?” Sunggyu asks indifferently. Pilkyo gestures and shakes his head, “No! I would never to that to you guys! The reason why I brought it up because—”Here he goes, Jonghoon thinks as he watches.“—it’s huge. And I might’ve not dropped it on Junghyuk that I want to live with you guys.”or,In which 7 guys take on this journey so-called Life, and how they move forward together.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Cha Hakyeon | N/Kim Wonshik | Ravi, Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Kim Ryeowook, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Sunggyu/Nam Woohyun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Mun Junghyuk | Eric/Shin Hyesung
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello! it's my first fic in this platform so i hope you guys enjoyed it! this fic is based on my experiences as well as real people so :D
> 
> this would be edited from time to time, so expect some changes in sentence structure, vocabulary, scenes... also english is not my first language so i'm sorry if you see anything vague or incorrect word spellings 🤧

Weddings are, for Jonghoon, the most stressful events in the world.

Don’t get him wrong; he loves to be with his family and meeting the other side for the first time, but it stresses him whenever he sees the frantic wedding coordinators, the staff running around to replace broken chairs or dirtied table cloths, and the videographer changing location even on the actual ceremony.

It was reception time and Jonghoon looks at the crowded dancefloor; the DJ has already set-up his equipment and the neon disco ball has been suspended on the ceiling for a long time. The lights would dim and everyone would be on club mode, even the bride and the groom. He’s not into those wild segments of a formal occasion and would rather excuse himself and retreat to his hotel room.

Today is Seungkwan’s mom and Seokmin’s dad’s wedding. Ever since Seungkwan’s dad passed away due to some lung complications, Seungkwan’s mom didn’t bother to look for love again — even though Uncle Boo willed Auntie Kim to get married again so Seungkwan would have a father-figure growing up and Auntie Kim wouldn’t be alone.

By Seungkwan’s insistence, Auntie Kim had set out to try falling in love again. She met Uncle Lee and the rest was history. Uncle Lee is also widowed and has a son, something that brought the two together. Seokmin was introduced to Seungkwan when he was 16, and the two were inseparable ever since.

Jonghoon finds Seokmin the same as Seungkwan, only a bit toned down. Probably because Seokmin has to act like a big brother to Seungkwan, despite having only a year difference. They only talked once, sharing a common love for plays and the weather. Their most outrageous conversation was about tornadoes and how Seokmin would want to become a tornado chaser, recruiting his hyung as his assistant.

“They earn a lot from that, hyung,” Seokmin mentioned while they were talking on the veranda of one of their relatives’ house. Jonghoon quirked an eyebrow, then suddenly reconsiders if he would trade medicine for chasing a deadly weather system.

When the reception hall dimmed and flashy neon lights appeared, Jonghoon takes that a signal to get out. He doesn’t spare a look around the wedding goers; his parents know that he’s not into these kinds of stuff and Sunggyu probably went ahead even before this started.

He makes his way to the elevator located at the far end of the corridor. There were a few people outside of the venue, most of the faces unfamiliar to Jonghoon. He removes his red tie then undoes the first few buttons of his dress shirt and his coat as he strides to the elevator. He presses the up button, the elevator doors opening before he enters the metal box. His hand then presses the 25th, and the doors close, starting to ascent the floors.

Jonghoon thinks of who would be staying at the afterparty: the eldest cousin would for sure be there, Seokjin probably would too. Wonshik’s not into those types of parties unless he’s with his close friends. Uncle Lee and Auntie Kim have probably whisked Seungkwan and Seokmin away even.

The elevator stops and he steps out, making his way to his room. Hotel hallways are extremely cold, and it’s sometimes hard to walk on those carpeted floors. His mother had a hard time walking due to her high heels getting caught on the fuzz a while ago.

Clear shouts and muffled talking start to reach his ears as he approaches his room. He shares a room with his younger brother Sunggyu, and it’s strategically located between the eldest Kim cousin’s and the second Kim siblings’ rooms. He passes by Kim siblings #2’s room then stops in front of his room. The muffled sounds were probably coming from the room beside his or the next room after.

He sticks his key into the knob but was surprised that it’s unlocked. Sunggyu is definitely back, he thinks as he pushes the door in. His eyes widen when he sees all of his cousins gathered, some lying on his bed while some seated in front of the turned-on television.

“I thought you guys are downstairs?” Jonghoon manages to ask over the noise.

Pilkyo decreases the volume of the television, “Nah. Seokmin’s family would be in charge of livening the mood there. I’m already tired because of those preparations. Can’t you believe Ms. Yoojin didn’t manage to hire a wedding MC so they got me instead?! I had to study the whole script in 30 minutes!”

“And you pulled it off well hyung! You should do that as a side hustle,” Seokjin counters as he grabs the remote, flipping through the hotel-provided cable.

Jonghoon removes his tuxedo and hangs it neatly by the closet. He removes his shoes and lies down, wiggling towards a free space beside Sunggyu, who was seated near the nightshade.

They were talking about some random conspiracy theories, thanks to a documentary that was shown on SBS. “Something about aliens and immortality,” Sunggyu tries to recall, “nothing important.”

“Sounds intriguing,” Jonghoon says as he folds his legs into a crisscross position. His eyes land back to the television showing a K-drama.

“I’m not going to watch that World of the Married,” Pilkyo comments as he focuses his attention, “too stressful!”

“It’s thought-provoking, hyung,” Wonshik’s deep voice filled the room. Jonghoon always forget how deep the 5th Kim’s voice is. “This week’s their final episodes. Can’t wait how it’ll turn out.”

Pilkyo makes a face, giving Wonshik’s reviews some thought before returning back his attention to the K-drama being shown.

It’s these kinds of moments that Jonghoon loves to be with his cousins. Every time there’s a family gathering, he would always make his way to them or to whoever arrives first. They practically grew up together due to Pilkyo’s insistence. He took each one under his wing, providing free tutoring and snacks whenever possible. Jonghoon partially thanks his hyung for his help as he, along with the others, managed to get into prestigious universities in Korea.

They finish the K-drama, which Pilkyo finds boring and the others agree.

“We should’ve started the episode,” Seokmin says as he turns around, back facing the television. They sat in a circle and began talking about their summers so far. Jonghoon enjoys listening to their stories; he always finds them fascinating as it never ceases to amaze him about how his cousins get their shit together.

“We’re planning to look for a dorm near our school,” Seungkwan opens up after they ended a random debate on food, “do you guys know any place? We need to move out so we could focus for the upcoming SATs.”

Pilkyo’s eyes suddenly sparkle, something that Jonghoon notices whenever he has an outrageous plan up in his sleeves. Most of his plans would require parental permission, so he lowkey feels like this one would also require permission.

“Speaking of dorms, Junghyuk’s parents gifted me with an apartment at the City Jungle Complex,” Pilkyo nonchalantly starts. The cousins’ eyes widen when they heard that 1) it was gifted by his boyfriend’s parents and 2) it’s at one of the most expensive apartment complexes in Gangnam.

“Are you casually flexing on us about your new apartment, hyung?” Sunggyu asks indifferently. Pilkyo gestures and shakes his head, “No! I would never to that to you guys! The reason why I brought it up because—”

Here he goes, Jonghoon thinks as he watches.

“—it’s huge. And I might’ve not dropped it on Junghyuk that I want to live with you guys.”

Everyone went silent, then erupts into questions and other incoherent noises altogether. Pilkyo closes his eyes and waves his hands in front of everyone, “Wait, wait! One at a time!”

“Who’s Junghyuk again?!”

Everyone turns to Seokmin, who was really confused with the name. The newest addition is still having a hard time identifying his step-cousins’ friends’ names; he only has to remember that his Pilkyo hyung and Seokjin hyung have boyfriends.

“My boyfriend, little Seokmin,” Pilkyo calmly reiterates. Seokmin nods slowly, forming an O when he remembers him.

Pilkyo snickers and focuses back to the others, “Now, any more questions?”

“Is that a proposition, hyung?” Sunggyu asks, who is now on his feet.

Pilkyo looks up, giving it a thought, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

* * *

The next morning, Pilkyo just straight-up told the elders about his proposition. Jonghoon coughed when he heard him discussing about the arrangements over the morning buffet. His only hyung is a frank person, and nobody gets into his way when he has an idea.

Jonghoon also expects that one of the elders would reject the idea, as most of Pilkyo’s plans were, but he is surprised when his parents approach him, actually giving it a chance.

“You’ll need to ride the subway or the bus,” his mother thinks over as she looks at the map of City Jungle’s location. Sunggyu is seated beside Jonghoon, who is deep in thought.

“The City Jungle is definitely a few minutes away from SNU, but it’s closer to KU,” his father enforces as he also checks the map, calculating the travel time, “but it’s still your choice.”

Jonghoon glances and nudges at Sunggyu, “Have you decided?”

Sunggyu slightly shakes his head, returning his senses before looking at their parents, “I think I’ll go with it. Seeing that I only need one bus ride.” Their parents then shift their attention to Jonghoon, who was still considering the offer, “How long’s the travel time?”

“20 minutes when you take the subway. Probably longer with the bus, depending on the traffic,” his father answers while scrolling through Naver Maps.

Well, Jonghoon has this only chance to live with his cousins. While he would miss the silence and the short walks to SNU, it’s better if he has someone to constantly talk to. He actually missed having late night conversations with Sunggyu, and phone calls don’t usually give justice to the length of their conversations.

These opportunities would come in rarely, so he accepts the proposition.

* * *

Before Jonghoon knew it, he is sitting at the back of the van while his cousins file inside a few days later. Pilkyo brought Seungkwan's and Seokmin's parents, as they need to see how far the place is from their school and if the apartment is "safe". It's also the first time Jonghoon and his cousins would visit the newly-bought apartment.

The apartment is located at the 30th floor and at the end of the corridor; Pilkyo mentioned that his boyfriend stays at the 35th floor. "Are you serious? Junghyuk hyung also lives there?" Seokjin incredulously asks when his ears pick up the fact. Pilkyo nods as he refocused his attention to the road once the stoplight turned green, "I wasn't aware, but Hyori mentioned that to me while explaining the information on the contract."

They arrive at the complex in no time. Pilkyo led the way, while the others marvel at the towering building mostly covered with tinted windows and uncertainty if there are people who even live there. They reached the elevator and all of them filed in, Pilkyo pushing the button once they are inside.

Jonghoon hasn’t heard to the other Kim siblings’ final decision, but he remembers that they set up rules for the others — most probably due to Wonshik’s flourishing Youtube career. Before they separated at the hotel, he heard Auntie and Uncle Kim immediately agreed as the complex is definitely closer to their universities. The siblings didn’t need any more persuasion.

They arrived at the floor and the unit was located at the far end of the corridor. Pilkyo punched in the security code and pushed the door open once it gave a faint click. Orange lights turned on once the door swung open, and everyone gasped at the vast space in front of them. Three bedrooms were splayed in the unit: one behind the television's wall while two behind the black leather couches. A small kitchen with a long dining table were beside the bedroom, and two adjacent bathrooms were located next to it. At the farther end of the kitchen, another door leading to a laundry area was found. Uncle Lee and Auntie Boo were pleased, most especially when they saw the laundry area.

Huge windows were the best features of the unit. It showed the bright clear sky and the roads & streets of Gangnam. Pilkyo could see the N Seoul Tower at a distance and his workplace a few blocks away.

While Pilkyo was explaining to the youngsters' parents about the ropes in the apartment, Jonghoon explores the bedrooms. Each bedroom has a quirk: one has beds stuck on the wall, one also has a huge window, and one has three beds with individual cabinets and study desks. He notices a piece of paper on the bedrooms' nightstands, all coming from Junghyuk.

"Junghyuk hyung already assigned us our bedrooms!" Jonghoon calls out as he reads one note from the bedroom. It was written that the youngest Kims would stay at the bedroom with beds on the wall, Seokjin and Wonshik staying at the one with a huge window, and the three eldest would have the one with individual study desks.

Uncle Lee and Auntie Kim stayed a little longer, talking about how their system should ideally go. Pilkyo promised that he'll take good care of the kids and he'll drive them to their schools during the first few days of classes.

When Uncle and Auntie left, they were left alone to discuss about the system and the house rules. Wonshik also brought up his own rules, mostly related to his practice and filming his videos. The others didn’t have a problem; they needed music to fill the whole place anyway.

* * *

It was the night before the big move, and Jonghoon just couldn't decide whether he should continue or not. His bags were already packed, already ended his lease at a dorm near SNU, and his parents made sure to pack snacks and condiments for the new place. He stared outside of his room at nothing in particular. Neighbors were still awake due to multiple rooms with lights on. The street lights flickered, and he could see people jogging at a late time.

The world is still awake, even if it's past 10.

What if this was a wrong move? What if it just brought more problems not only for him but for the others? He didn't feel this kind of anxiety when he moved near SNU, but why is he making a mountain out of a mole hill?

"Overthinking doesn't suit you," a voice engulfs his whole room. Jonghoon turns around and sees Sunggyu by the door, his hand on the knob. "I'm not overthinking," Jonghoon lies, turning his head back to the window.

"Yeah you are. It's past your usual bedtime," Sunggyu notes as he shuffles inside, closing the door behind him and settling on Jonghoon's bed. Sunggyu is a good observer, the only thing that he retained from their childhood. His vibrant personality diminished when he started middle school, wherein he was already a reserved and intelligent young boy.

"The moon looks lovely tonight," Jonghoon changes the topic, staring again at the clear night sky. Sunggyu scoots closer to the window, looking up to see the moon hovering above them.

"The stars also look lovely," he comments as he settles his head on his elbows, admiring the visible stars scattered in the sky.

Jonghoon sighs softly. The comfortable silence encompassing the two siblings. Even without a single word, they knew what was going on in each other's minds. Jonghoon knows that Sunggyu may not be a hundred percent onboard with this moving thing, he still decides to come along. Does Sunggyu actually know what's inside his mind right now?

"Overthinking really doesn't suit you," Sunggyu mumbles again as he glances at his older brother. Jonghoon scoffs, "I told you I'm not."

"The stars probably think you are," his younger brother jokes as he looks up, staring at a faint flickering star near the moon, "What's on your mind?"

Jonghoon shrugs, his eyes landing on the trees in front of their home, "A lot of things. Most especially if this is a good idea."

Sunggyu chuckles and sits up straight, grabbing one of his brother's pillows and playing with the edges, "Is it because of the commute time?"

The elder's lips curls half-heartedly, then sighs inaudibly, "I'm just not really used to travelling several minutes to school. I still want to stay within the school's vicinity, but I also want to join you guys."

"No one's forcing you if you feel like this is a burden for med school," Sunggyu points out, hugging the pillow tightly. He's right: it'll still be up to Jonghoon if he would join them or not. While he could do an early start, he thinks about the travel time and the times he would have to adjust. It's hard if you already have a routine, but it's nice to change it up a little. It's still summer break, and he hasn't had his schedule yet. Might as well enjoy the summer with his goofy cousins.

Sunggyu notes the sudden shift in his brother's stature, signaling that he has probably changed his mind. He stands up and puts back the pillow, shuffling towards the bedroom door.

"Get some sleep now, hyung. I feel like you already made your mind," his younger brother tells him before he closes the door.

Jonghoon once thought that he wants to be around his cousins all the time. He finally got his opportunity. It’ll be a new experience, and he’ll be able to witness his favorite people growing and going through their lives. He’ll be there to support them, provide advice if necessary, or just listen to their ramblings.

What could possibly go wrong?


	2. Summer

Jonghoon glares at his bickering cousins, biting into his sandwich frustratingly as he hears the conversation. He could rip the hairs of his two cousins, but Sunggyu was also staring at his older brother, sending a telepathic message not to do whatever he’s planning.

Seokjin is so close to exploding, so he breathes in heavily before continuing, “Look hyung. The shirt is mine and I have 5 of these in my closet. My 6th shirt went missing and I noticed that you have it, so I’m kindly asking if I could get it back.”

Pilkyo clutches on the shirt tightly, scrunching it in his hold. “No,” he grits his teeth, “This is mine, Seokjin. And I have been using it for 3 weeks.”

“Where the fuck did you buy it then?” Seokjin asks, trying his hard not to bark profanities at his hyung. Seokjin doesn’t remember Pilkyo having that exact shirt. Sunggyu’s ears suddenly perked up and concentrated on the discussion.

“I just found it lying around the laundry. Picked it up then started to use it,” Pilkyo nonchalantly says, unfurling the shirt from his hold.

“You bastard,” Sunggyu suddenly utters. The two cousins turned around and see Sunggyu visibly gritting his teeth at the eldest. Jonghoon suddenly felt scared and moved away holding onto his seat. They all know that Sunggyu is scary when he gets angry, and everyone knows that he has the worst temper of all.

“No wonder one was missing last week,” he manages to say between his teeth. Seokjin backed away slowly before Sunggyu charges to Pilkyo, ripping the shirt from his hold. They toppled onto each other, hands fighting to grab hold of the damned shirt. Pilkyo was trying to get away from the younger’s grasp, but Sunggyu wasn't backing down so he tugged on the shirt harshly. The younger wasn’t even scared to scratch or bruise Pilkyo just to get it.

Jonghoon and Seokjin, on the other hand, were pulling them apart but mostly Sunggyu. He was enraged — he pulled Pilkyo’s hair, scratched his skin, and even strangled him just to reach the shirt which was above Pilkyo’s head.

“Yah! Stop this fucking nonsense!” Jonghoon screams and Sunggyu successfully snatches the shirt from Pilkyo’s hold. He removes strands of his hair on his forehead, wiping his sweat using the back of his hand. Pilkyo angrily stared at Sunggyu, “I told you I’ll be getting my clothes then!”

“Uh, no, you didn’t,” Sunggyu answers rather calmly, a huge contrast from his screeches a few minutes ago. He unfurls the shirt and shows it to his hyung, “This is obviously Seokjin’s. I double-checked it too.” He tosses the shirt to Seokjin, his eyes sparkling as he stared at his shirt.

Pilkyo scrunches his face, struggling to get up and scans his arms, eyeing the scratches from Sunggyu’s (long) fingernails. “I’ll buy you the same shirt hyung. Just promise me next time not to interfere with my laundry,” Sunggyu says with finality, crossing his arms, “and please stop arguing with Seokjin. You’re waking the whole complex so early.”

Pilkyo rolls his eyes but Sunggyu stared at him intently. He tilts his head before Pilkyo immediately answers with a “ugh, fine!” before he retreats to fetch the first aid. Jonghoon helps Pilkyo stand up, gently swatting his clothes to remove the dust. He led the older to the couch and assisted him in sitting down.

The cousins actually forgot what would happen if they crossed Sunggyu, so that was a good refresher. Even though he’s an older brother, Jonghoon was still shocked with what Sunggyu did. He’s reserved and rarely shows any interest other than his priorities, a complete opposite of his personality during childhood. Jonghoon points out it’s due to school. The only thing that retained was his curiosity.

Sunggyu returns with a first aid and attends to his older cousin’s wounds. Jonghoon and Seokjin left them alone, while Wonshik silently made his way to the kitchen for breakfast. He was supposed to leave the bedroom, but was scared when he witnessed the brawl so he retreated.

“I’m sorry,” Sunggyu mumbles as he gently wiped the cotton with antiseptic. Pilkyo hissed, refusing to acknowledge his younger cousin. Sunggyu didn’t mind the silence, he knew it was his fault and he should’ve managed his temper — but when it comes to his laundry duties and other responsibilities, no one should interfere with it.

Time flew by fast and Sunggyu applied cream on the scratches. He mentally sighed in relief when the wounds weren't that deep. He mutters another apology before gathering the supplies, abruptly stopping on his tracks when he sees Pilkyo also tidying the supplies. “Let’s talk later,” the older calmly says before picking up the zip lock filled with cotton balls. Sunggyu nods and leaves him alone, storing the kit away in the bathroom.

* * *

The Kims’ summer time consisted of peace and minding their own businesses. Only a few of them would leave the complex due to the humidity and Seokjin’s usual “too many tourists!” complaints. After they all moved in, they settled on visiting a nearby spot on a weekly basis. Han River was the farthest spot that they could go to from the City Jungle.

It was understandable though, as Seungkwan and Seokmin had to study for their SATs and Wonshik promised his subscribers to be more active on his Youtube channel. Pilkyo could file a leave, but he already thought about the pile of work that he would return to.

Luckily, whenever they leave, the sky is clear and there aren’t too many people. Over the weekends, Pilkyo dragged them to the Han River for a picnic, and Jonghoon taught the younger Kims on how to bike. Seungkwan usually falls over, but Seokmin immediately caught the hang of it as he pedals around his stepbrother and his step-cousin.

Today is a weekday and Pilkyo is fortunately given a day-off. He already planned a date with Sunggyu, which would obviously be an emotional rollercoaster. Seokjin already apologized to him and willingly promised to buy him the same shirt. Pilkyo made a mental note to find out the reason why he has a lot of those shirts.

Seungkwan asked for permission if they could study at the café across the complex. Jonghoon agreed, asking them to return before dinner time. Wonshik cooped up in the bedroom, practicing a piano cover of a song.

Jonghoon sat in front of his desk, staring at the blank Word document and contemplating how to start his contributory article for SNU’s official newspaper. It was about a recent pioneering research of the university about a certain gene. Even though he’s on his 2nd year of medicine, he still doesn’t get the wonders of biochemistry.

A calming piano piece started to float around the apartment. Wonshik already started practicing. Jonghoon felt his shoulders relaxing, but his eyes still focused on the blank document. He should really start typing, and so he did. Guided by the soft music playing in the background, he launches Chrome, opened tabs necessary for the article, and begun his work.

* * *

The café was not packed, but Pilkyo wanted more peace so he retreated at the far end. Sunggyu came back holding a circular contraption that the older swore it’s too high-tech. “It’s a paging buzzer, it lights up when our orders are ready,” Sunggyu explains while Pilkyo played with it.

It was an awkward date. The two haven’t had a decent bonding moment together due to Pilkyo’s demand at ShinCom and Sunggyu’s law school admission priorities. The older kept on letting the communication arts major know about his schedule, an indirect, subtle message of ‘hey, if you need anything relating to law, I’m here!’.

Of course, Sunggyu isn’t that oblivious. He senses Pilkyo hovering whenever he fills up his application for the LEET. Law books and reviewers were already stacked up neatly near Sunggyu’s desk. While the younger is frustrated at how excited his hyung is, he lowkey feels glad that someone roots for him other than his brother.

The contraption lights and buzzes, and Sunggyu quickly stood, beating Pilkyo who was also about to stand. He thanks the cashier at the counter before hobbling towards their seat, a tray between his hands.

“Thank you,” Pilkyo says as he grabs his matcha latte. Sunggyu forms a small smile, nursing his iced Americano between his hands. The sunlight slowly illuminated the café, bright rays creeping into the windows. A few customers enter and leave, some staying with laptops opened. The only thing filling between the cousins is the acoustic rendition of a song.

Even if they don’t get together, Sunggyu knew how Pilkyo works. The older would not start the conversation, a subtle action that echoes ‘you first’. Sunggyu taps on his grande-sized plastic cup, “I’m sorry about a while ago.”

Pilkyo sips before he looks at his cousin, his eyes landing on the wall beside him, “It’s okay. I should’ve known better when you spoke up.”

The younger nods slightly, bringing the straw to his lips. He might have forgotten that his cousins don’t know his temper, or they knew but they haven’t seen how he gets mad. He’s always viewed as one of the persons who rarely gets mad, and if they do, it feels like a volcano has turned active from its long period of dormancy.

Sunggyu doesn’t care most of the time. He feels the emotion then gets over it. He doesn’t hold grudges; the only times would be if someone hurt him to the core. He thinks about the reason why he exploded and recounts what happened before that incident.

“It’s my fault really, hyung,” Sunggyu takes a deep breath then exhales rather shakily. Laughs emptily. “I exploded because I just got tired of you and Seokjin arguing every morning. And the time when I did the laundry was the deadline for LEET and I completely forgot about it.”

Pilkyo nods, his head hanging down. He examines himself, mentally facepalming after realizing how petty the morning fights were. It probably took a toll not only for Sunggyu but for the others as well. He remembers promising the elders that they won’t fight, and they’ll set it diplomatically (yes, Pilkyo used that word). He felt like he put his foot in his mouth when he and Seokjin would literally fight over food on one day, apologize later that afternoon, then resume arguing about the humidifier’s scent.

“But you still passed your requirements, right?” Pilkyo asks, suddenly concerned about the deadline the younger mentioned. Sunggyu nods, leaning back against the chair, “After I put in all the clothes in the dryer, I rushed to my laptop and submitted everything. Then I forgot folding them. Although I remembered how many clothes there are for each of us.”

Sunggyu only remembered about the clothes in the basket the following day, so he immediately went to the laundry area and was relieved when he saw the clothes still in their place. He was confused when he wrongly counted Seokjin’s shirt, but didn’t bother asking if the younger already retrieved it.

Probably it was also Seokjin’s fault not raising the concern immediately.

Ugh, recalling the memory was a stupid move. Not only Sunggyu felt embarrassed, but he earned a mild headache.

The eldest Kim cousin notices Sunggyu’s head lolls. He chuckled and patted on the younger’s hand, “Yah. Past is past. The good thing is that you and Seokjin apologized to me. I’m still sorry if I acted like a whiny kid.”

Sunggyu nods and mumbles an ‘apology accepted’. The two are glad that they got past this hideous argument, so they started to talk about anything new in their lives. Pilkyo would still subtly hint about his availability to help the younger on law, which Sunggyu caught on and answers with an ‘I will’.

“How are your friends?” Pilkyo asks while playing his now-empty cup. Sunggyu stretches his arms before leaning back again, “They’re great, as usual. Dongwoo’s still bright as ever, Sungyeol’s still questioning Donghae hyung’s life choices.”

Pilkyo tilts his head, seemingly feeling that there’s something lacking, “How’s Woohyun?”

Sunggyu freezes. Oh dear, did he forget how to breathe?

“He’s… well,” Sunggyu begins, holding his other hand to steady himself. He wishes that Pilkyo couldn’t see the changes in his composure, but knowing his cousin, Pilkyo might have noticed that he let out a shaky breath.

“Did you two fight again?” Pilkyo frowns. To be honest, Pilkyo could see his younger, adorable cousin and Nam Woohyun together. They complement each other and they were inseparable since high school. It also shocked the older when he learned about Woohyun attending KU, as he remembered from Sunggyu that Woohyun is supposed to move back to Chungcheong after graduation.

Should Sunggyu lie?

They’ll find out eventually on what happened between them. Or to himself in that matter. The cousins love Woohyun as he was usually the only one from his friends that he could comfortably bring home.

Sunggyu is still confused but he doesn’t hurt if he lies… right?

“No,” Sunggyu says with finality. This deception could continue, and if he’s ready, he could tell his cousins about it. “We just had… a misunderstanding? Y-you know, just some political stuff,” he lies. He crosses his fingers, hoping that his hyung could bite it.

Pilkyo made a confused face, but went along with the excuse. “I swear the only thing that could tear you and Woohyun apart is your views,” he remarks. Sunggyu chuckles and it’s true: whenever Woohyun and Sunggyu argue, it’ll always be about anything about their opinions on certain social issues. They rarely have fights about something other than those, and Sunggyu prays that it wouldn’t happen.

Although Sunggyu swears he could punch Woohyun for making him feel this way.

A phone rang and the two of them quickly checked if it was theirs. Sunggyu exhales and glad it wasn’t his, but Pilkyo looked distraught. “We should go home,” Pilkyo insists. Sunggyu blinks, but understood what it was.

* * *

The six cousins stare at a puffy-eyed Seokjin. They were seated, unusually comfortable on the couch, across the 4th Kim, who was sniffing and frustratingly pulls the tissue from the box.

Seokjin explained to them that he and his boyfriend have split, and he still couldn’t tell them the real reason behind it. Wonshik also felt heartbroken, as he and his brother’s boyfriend were really close and bonded over music.

“Should I punch Namjoon?” Sunggyu asks. He’s the most protective towards Seokjin as he treats him like a baby, alongside the two youngest cousins.

The 4th Kim shakes his head and blows his nose on the unused tissue. The pile was starting to grow beside the box, but he didn’t care. How could Kim Namjoon nonchalantly tell him that they should break up? Did the spark disappear all of a sudden?

“Who’s Namjoon again?” Seokmin whispers to Seungkwan, the latter explaining that he’s Seokjin’s boyfriend, ‘the one who speaks English well’. Seokmin nods slowly and looks back at his teary hyung.

Pilkyo immediately went to his side and patted the younger, “It’s okay. We’re here. You have all the time to calm down.”

Seokjin wails again, clutching onto Pilkyo’s shirt and spilling his tears over. It’s their first time to see Seokjin cry; heck, it’s their first time to handle this kind of situation. Jonghoon messaged Pilkyo when he noticed Seokjin hugging his knees at the edge of the couch. The younger exploded into tears, prompting Wonshik and Jonghoon to calm him down.

The atmosphere became heavy as Seokjin’s cries were the only sound heard. They just stayed there as a family. They knew that Seokjin is a stubborn person, and he wouldn’t let them know what transpired.

Wonshik volunteered to buy ice cream at the convenience store downstairs, while Seungkwan grabbed pillows and blankets and built a pillow fort for his hyung. Pilkyo turned on the television and plugged his terabyte, flipping through possible movies until he settled with Welcome to Dongmakgol.

Everyone took their places in front of the television, the center table long gone to accommodate the extending fort. Seokjin settled on the couch, Pilkyo beside him while the others opted to stay on the floor. Wonshik arrives with four tubs of ice cream and two large bags of popcorn, “I met Junghyuk hyung and he gave me these,” he raises the bags, “after I told him about Seokjin hyung’s dilemma. He wishes you well, hyung!”

Seokjin giggles and Pilkyo makes a mental note again to thank his boyfriend for the gift. The movie begins while they also begin digging into the snacks. Seokmin would try to spoil a scene, but Seungkwan would just shove a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into his stepbrother’s mouth.

Jonghoon looks around to see the concentrating faces of his cousins. Seokjin was also absorbed into the movie, smiling occasionally on some scenes. While Jonghoon thinks that it’s still an outrageous idea to live with his cousins, he had to remind himself of these kinds of moments that make him want to stay. Sure, he would still experience his cousins' heartbreaks and their arrangements would still make one get bothered, but it's the lessons and the adjustments that make him grateful. He would continue to grow as an individual but also as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was an intense fight over a shirt xD i had fun writing it
> 
> also hyesung's character is loosely based on one of my guy cousins.
> 
> see you guys on my next update!


	3. Perspective

Wonshik found himself seated in this half-decent couch, staring blankly across a wall that wasn’t covered with people's shadows. The room — a living room, seeing a television displaying a Xbox game in front of him — is dimly lit with orange lights and a disco ball hanging on the ceiling. People were everywhere, and he notices a group of people starting to dance. It wasn’t that crowded but he couldn’t breathe well in there.

He wasn’t planning to attend this house party, but Hongbin asked him to go since it’ll be the last time before university starts. When Wonshik asked who threw it, the younger explained that ‘he’s friends with this friend with this friend with the organizers’ and he was invited. “Also Yoongi told me that I could invite anyone else so I called you,” Hongbin added, “you could ask Seokjin hyung too!”

And so Wonshik asked Seokjin while he watching a cliché romantic movie on Netflix, at the same time Seokjin’s phone rang and Jaehwan also asked him to go to the party. “We need to get out to the outside world and rejoin civilization,” Seokjin said once he made up his mind a few minutes later.

Seokjin was whisked away by Hoseok and Taehyung when they found the siblings seated on the couch, so Wonshik was left behind. The red cup he is holding came from Hongbin and Sanghyuk, who were planning to make him wasted but he wasn’t down for anything alcoholic so the two handed him a cup of soda.

Wonshik couldn’t remember the last time he went to a party like this. It was just not his thing and he would rather do something productive than dance with strangers. While he should be used to this environment since he once performed at an underground club and the lights there were much worse, Wonshik still couldn’t adjust to the club lights and the crowds pushing against each other.

The music starts to amplify and the emitted bass is giving Wonshik a headache. Someone then grabbed his wrists and he was pulled up from the couch, exiting the house immediately. His eyes readjusted to the new environment: streetlights, a few people seated on the pavement and standing near the house, the person wearing a dark green shirt with orange and yellow and white splattered around it.

“You look like you’re going to die in there,” the voice, oddly familiar, says as he was being led to an unoccupied pavement. Wonshik grins and sits down once they reach it, “Thanks for the save Hakyeon hyung.”

“Anytime,” Hakyeon acknowledges as he also sits down. Wonshik then managed to look at his eldest friend: this shirt has a v-neck and it didn’t help Wonshik as his eyes kept on falling on his friend’s chest, and the skinny black pants defines his friend’s long legs. He had to remind himself to ask Hakyeon why he’s not accepting those modelling offers, but then again, he knew his friend loves music more than anything else.

“The house’s stuffy, if I were to be honest. Minhyuk sure knows how to throw a party, but the rooms are too crowded,” Hakyeon complains as he shifts to sit crisscrossed. Oh, Wonshik realizes as he hears Hakyeon rambling, but which Minhyuk… 

Hakyeon chuckles as he notices his younger friend’s confused look, “Lee Minhyuk, Sungjae’s cousin? You met him.”

“Ah… that Minhyuk,” Wonshik remembers. He has met a lot of Minhyuks in his lifetime and it still confuses him who is who.

They sat in silence. The night sky is painted with dark blue, the moon in its full phase and a few stars were twinkling. They could hear the music cranking up inside the house, but none of the two wanted to return.

“How’s living with the cousins?” Hakyeon breaks the silence. He is genuinely curious at how the younger is holding up. He hasn’t heard anything after the big move, and he wants to know everything that came down.

“They’re great,” Wonshik answers, stretching his arms a little to the back as he leans, “they know how to respect my space. Even though we’re in this apartment, they still manage to comment on my videos rather than saying it upfront.”

“And that what you like, right?” Hakyeon hugs his knees. Wonshik nods, a smile forming in his lips, “You should come visit soon. Jin hyung wants a one-on-one lesson on candle-making.”

Hakyeon giggles, resting his head on his knees, “I will, just set a date.”

Wonshik nods and they were back to this comfortable silence. They’ve been best friends since grade school, and Wonshik probably memorized everything about Hakyeon but he would still be surprised whenever he learns something new — his new favorite show, his new favorite ice cream flavor, his new favorite video game. There are still some that doesn’t change, like his favorite instrument, his favorite season, and his favorite flower.

Besides his favorites, Wonshik feels and knows if something is off. He glances at the older, who was staring blankly at the road and contemplating on some thoughts.

“What’s in your head?” Wonshik asks as he leans forward, studying his friend’s face. He admires every emotion that Hakyeon exhibits; his most favorite is the genuine smile. Right now, he watches the frown disappearing, putting on a sad smile as Hakyeon faces him.

“Taekwoon and I started to date,” Hakyeon mumbles.

Wonshik didn’t know what he felt, but if he had to, it feels like a hundred boulders crashed on him. Why would he feel such a thing? He doesn’t —

Wait.

Truth be told, he harbors a small crush on Cha Hakyeon. He forgot when it started, but probably when the two of them talked about their love for music back in high school. He doesn’t know that his friends could practically sense that Wonshik is in love with the music major. They probably have theorized that Wonshik went to Yonsei because of Hakyeon (which, to Wonshik’s defense, is not the main reason; although he partially wished to go there just for the older).

So how is he going to handle this?

Wonshik averts his gaze, acting as if it didn’t shock him, “Since when?”

“Last week. We plan to tell it to you guys today, but he’s not in the mood to go to this party,” Hakyeon explains as Wonshik notices how the older was hugging his knees tightly. He should be happy, right? He finally gets to date someone, even though it’s within their circle.

“You do know Taekwoon hyung’s not really into these kinds of stuff,” Wonshik snickers, earning a light punch from the older. “I know, but at least he should, right?”

“Point taken,” Wonshik agrees. They then went back to silence, but Wonshik feels disappointed. He knew Hakyeon all his life and he has been trying to get his attention discreetly, but he also knew that Hakyeon is an oblivious kid. The only thing that could get his attention is admitting his feelings.

However, he’s scared. And he’s not yet ready to take that leap.

“You should tell us soon,” Wonshik says after clearing his throat.

Hakyeon nods, “Yeah. Now we have two couples in the group.”

Wonshik chuckles as he recalls Hongbin’s live confession to Sanghyuk, in front of his family and friends. Ever since then, they acted not only like lovers but also as best friends still.

“I pray that I won’t get fed up immediately,” Wonshik hopes jokingly, to which Hakyeon replies with a “I don’t think so.”

* * *

Hoseok sat beside Seokjin as Taehyung ordered their drinks at a nearby café. Seokjin felt guilty not inviting Wonshik since everything happened so fast. He fiddles with his fingers while Hoseok is scrolling through his phone. Maybe Seokjin should call Wonshik… but he remembers seeing Hongbin and Sanghyuk and Hakyeon so his younger brother will be okay there.

“Any reason why you brought me here instead?” Seokjin didn’t bother to look at Hoseok or to Taehyung when he arrives with a tray between his hands. He places the tray in the middle, handing over the drinks to their respective owners.

“We saw Namjoon there,” Taehyung starts as he sips his hot chocolate. His friends expect him to do a dramatic move like freezing in his place or babbling why his ex-boyfriend is there, but he didn’t. He leans back, brings his iced Americano to his lips and sips on it as if there was no big deal.

“Aren’t you going to go hysterical?” Hoseok asks surprisingly, looking up from his phone. Seokjin suppresses a scoff, tapping his fingers on his medium plastic cup, “One, why would I do that? Just because I act like that all time doesn't mean I need to pull that shit when he's around.”

He pauses. Okay, he would go hysterical but probably in his mind. He looks weird if he screams bloody murder if he spots that man and partygoers would remember him as ‘that Kim who made a scene at the house party’.

“And two,” he resumes, leaning back against the chair, “I don’t really care if he’s there. He might be with Jungkook or Jimin or Yoongi. I’ve moved on, he moved on.”

Or did I? Seokjin thinks as he hears himself saying it. Did he really move on?

It has been a month since Namjoon called it quits. He hasn’t told anyone yet of the real reason, since he’s scared that the tears would threaten to fall. Whenever people ask why, he just shrug it off and inform that it’s none of their business. His cousins didn’t push him, and his friends were just waiting for the right time. Those are enough for him.

Taehyung exchanges a glance with his boyfriend, and looks back at Seokjin. Seokjin feels like something happened when the two saw Kim Namjoon, and he doesn’t (or does he?) want to know.

* * *

The siblings sat in silence inside their car. Seokjin bought a mocha frappe for Wonshik as a compensation and the latter has been sipping on it with delight while driving. They haven’t spoken a word after they left the vicinity. The older Kim texted the younger that he’s in a café and, if it’s all right with him, he could pick him up there.

Hakyeon already left before Wonshik received his brother’s message, explaining that Taekwoon would get mad if he learned that he stayed a little longer than the usual 10pm curfew that they imposed on each other. Wonshik finds that absurd, as he believes Hakyeon knows his limitations. He didn’t know Taekwoon has this side.

Seokjin bid his two friends goodbye as he sees a familiar Hyundai Accent approaching. Wonshik then rolled down the car’s window and waved at the two as well.

“How did you end up in a café?” Wonshik asks as he halts the car in front of the red light. Seokjin has always been comfortable, but he feels at home whenever he’s with his cousins. He stretches his arms and traps the head rest once he folded them, “I guess nobody liked the stuffy house party.”

Wonshik chuckles as he shifts the gear again when the stop light turned green, “The amount of people is just right. It’s not that few but it’s definitely not that crowded.”

“Really?” Seokjin was surprised when he heard that observation. While it’s true that there’s a lot of people, Seokjin still believes that it’s crowded to some extent. How would he know? He hasn’t attended a party with that number of attendees.

His brother nods as he makes a turn. A few more minutes left before they reach the City Jungle.

“I saw Namjoon outside,” Wonshik starts again. The guy has always been a delicate topic for the cousins, even for the two. It has obviously been a month but the cousins know that Seokjin’s not yet ready to open up. They would approach the topic with caution most of the time, so it’s a surprise that his brother just straight-up spat what he noticed.

Seokjin tries not to look uncomfortable, so he retracts his arms and latches his right hand on the overhead handle, “And?”

Wonshik attempts to look serious and unbothered, but he knew that he was really bothered, “He’s with a girl. Kissing and all.”

Okay, Seokjin thinks and scans his whole body. Mindfulness Jin, he internalizes, mindfulness. He closes his eyes as he tries to beat his emotions to feeling them.

“I think that’s why Hoseok and Taehyung took you to the café,” Wonshik continues as he took another turn.

After checking, he admits that it hurts but why should he care? He doesn’t have Namjoon wrapped around his finger now. That guy’s free to do whatever he wants, whatever he likes and whatever his heart desires. He would lie if it didn’t hurt, but he thinks that it’s part of his process of healing.

“You okay hyung?” Wonshik snaps him out of his trance. He hasn’t given his brother an answer.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Seokjin half-lies, “I’m okay.”

Wonshik juts his chin as he turns to the right again, the GPS indicating that they’re a few blocks away. “Hakyeon hyung’s dating Taekwoon hyung,” he says, masking the hurt that is seriously impeding his chest, “for… a week now? I don’t know.”

Seokjin looks at his brother, scanning if there were some hint of sadness or pain. He might have forgotten that Wonshik is good at hiding his feelings, but he wants the younger to know that he’s here and he won’t judge him. I mean that’s what siblings are for, right? He declares when they both fought over using a laptop back in grade school.

“Does it hurt?” Seokjin forwardly asks.

Wonshik nods, a sigh escaping from his lips as they slow down and reach the complex’s basement, “It’s fine. I know that Hakyeon hyung’s not really interested in me since day one.”

The siblings didn’t know what to do. The two of them are hurt and still don’t know how to mend their hearts. While letting time pass by is a good idea, it’s hard if you realize that every single time you wake up, you’re forced to talk to them. They don’t blame the friend groups, but they blame themselves for not having the right coping mechanisms.

Somehow, they’ll get better. They have each other. And the cousins.

* * *

“Good evening,” Sunggyu greets softly as the siblings arrived the apartment. Seokjin was surprised but their hyung flashes a toothless smile and turns back to the television. Wonshik sits beside Sunggyu, “Did you have a great time?”

Wonshik shakes his head, “Poorly organized party, I would say.”

Sunggyu scoffs and playfully pushes him away, “Go to bed you jerk.”

“Love you hyung!” Wonshik calls out as he slips into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under a rock*
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed today's update! i really forced myself to reveal jin's and ravi's stories bc their plotlines are pretty heavy- for me... at least. xD
> 
> see you on the next chapter!  
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols (stan twt) and @codenametitanic (writing)


	4. Again

In a blink of an eye, summer ended and everyone has to go back to school. Seungkwan and Seokmin already started theirs, and Pilkyo has the task to bring them to school in the morning before he heads out to work and pick them up afterward. Uncle Lee and Auntie Boo instructed them to let their kids familiarize themselves with the streets before letting them go on their own.

While Jonghoon’s first day classes are still in the afternoon, he woke up really early to send off his cousins with morning classes. He actually plans to sleep in a little bit more as he just finished his contributory article draft for SNU’s newspaper, but he wanted to cheer them on before his cousins leave.

“Aren’t you supposed to go now? It’s 6:30,” Jonghoon asks when he spots Pilkyo still seated on the leather couch, watching the morning news.

“Junghyuk told me he’ll drive us to Kwan and Min’s school, then we’ll go straight to work,” Pilkyo answers while he flips through the channels for other shows. His phone then rang, peers over the caller ID, “Seungkwannie! Seokmin-ah! Junghyuk’s downstairs!”

Seungkwan then bolts out of the room then to the bathroom, while Seokmin holds on to his bag and his stepbrother’s. He makes his way to the door while Pilkyo turns off the television and grab his bag beside Jonghoon. “Text me what you want for dinner,” Pilkyo says as he slings his arms around the newly-relieved Seungkwan.

“We’re off hyung!” Seungkwan calls out while Seokmin waves at Jonghoon. The 2nd Kim waves back and waits for them to leave before landing his eyes back on the newspaper.

The wee hours of the morning are silent and Jonghoon enjoys it very much. Back in his old dorm, these were common as the noise could disturb the neighboring rooms. While he enjoys the ruckus when he’s with his cousins, he still misses the quiet, alone moments. It’s a good thing those mornings would bring him back to his usual routine.

“Morning hyung,” a soft voice calls Jonghoon and his head shoots up, smiling as he sees the owner of the voice.

“Morning Seokjin. Ready for university?” Jonghoon asks as he stands up to fetch the younger’s glass.

Seokjin shakes his head and yawns, resting his head on his palm, “I’m not ready to see their faces.”

“Well, you need to reconnect to society,” Jonghoon snickers as he hands the cup with lukewarm water. Seokjin mumbles a ‘thanks’ before downing it, sighing as he finishes, “I already finished writing the play for this semester. I’m planning to personally give it to Ms. Park for checking, before passing it to the theater.”

Jonghoon nods as he takes his last bite of sandwich made with cheese and leftover ham, “Can you share the story?”

The younger shakes his head, rubbing his neck with one hand, “It’s a surprise. You’ll get to know it once the posters are out.”

Jonghoon chuckles before standing up, “Well I’m excited about it. Take care of your breakfast, okay?”

Seokjin hums in response, still seated as Jonghoon made his way to his bedroom. Sunggyu is still asleep, so he silently pulls the chair of his study desk and sits on it. He still has a few hours before he gets ready for university, so he quickly scans through the draft for the last time.

* * *

“I see you’re early,” Ryeowook notes as he sits beside Jonghoon. The latter makes a face, “I’m always early.”

Ryeowook raises his eyebrow, “What time did you arrive?”

Jonghoon looks at his watch, “An hour ago, or so.”

The younger grins, “See. Is it because you're timing your arrival?”

Jonghoon sighs as he leans back, staring at the podium at the bottom. Their first class together is microbiology in a class hall. There were already many students seated, although a lot of seats are still vacant. “Yeah. Estimating how long I would travel and if it’s really a good idea to move in with them,” he thinks.

“Well, it’s a good idea, for starters. I mean, at least you won’t be able to mope around alone,” Ryeowook teases. To be honest, whenever Jonghoon is alone, he would go around and call some of his friends just to release his stress. It took a few days before Jonghoon got the chance to talk to his favorite hyung about his feelings when he experienced his first mental breakdown at the apartment.

Jonghoon agrees and the volume of students starts to increase. He spots a few of his acquaintances, waving at them and introducing Ryeowook whenever he can. The professor then arrives and started his session. Ryeowook then pulls up a cup of iced Americano for him and for Jonghoon. The latter was surprised, “I’ll pay you —”

“No need. It’s on the house,” Ryeowook interrupts and gives the smile that Jonghoon loves: eyes forming into crescents, lips widening to show his teeth. Jonghoon felt his cheeks turning pink so he sips into his drink, hoping that it could wake him up throughout the afternoon.

* * *

Sunggyu passes his time at the library. His next class will be in a few hours, so he decides to start reviewing for the law eligibility test. One of his brother’s friends, Lee Donghae, would also be taking it as he plans to take up law as well, much to the surprise of everyone. Sungyeol told him about it, admitting that law would probably be the last thing he would hear from his brother.

The library is almost empty except for a few student assistants and librarians. The campus is also quiet, even though there were a few walking and conversing with friends. Clouds start to cover the blue sky, some clumping, and some flowing freely.

His phone then buzzed, which he didn’t answer at first, but it was continuously buzzing. He huffs and finally checks to see who it was; he internally groans and eye rolls. Nam Woohyun and his whiny ass.

He packs his stuff and heads outside, going to a place that Woohyun organized to meet up with him. When he arrives, he saw familiar faces and voices. “Sunggyu hyung!” one voice calls, the others turn to see him.

Ah, his good friends.

To be honest, he didn’t want to contact his friends over the summer since they might have plans. The only one who has the guts to meet up with him several times was, you've guessed it, Nam Woohyun. While he likes talking to him for several hours, he doesn’t feel accomplished because he gets disrupted. He spoke to Woohyun about this several times, but the younger still manages to call him. All the time.

“Hey there Dongwoo-ya!” Sunggyu waves as he immediately opens his arms after Dongwoo runs towards him for a hug. The older felt like someone punched the wind out of him; Dongwoo probably gained more weight. Or muscle.

“How was your summer?” Sunggyu asks as he wraps his arm around the younger’s shoulders. They walk side by side, “Great. I went to Busan with Howon’s family.”

Sunggyu is impressed. Dongwoo and Howon started to date last year and were suddenly moving fast, although Howon argues that they’re still taking it slow. It looked fast because their respective families adore each other, even before they dated. Dongwoo once shared, before they were dating, that Howon’s parents would seriously push them to date because they could see the compatibility.

They reach the group and Sunggyu waved at the others. He catches Woohyun smiling goofily at him, but he rolls his eyes in response.

“When’s your first class?” Sungyeol asks.

Sunggyu looks at his watch, then looks back at the younger, “30 minutes.”

“When’s your last class?” Myungsoo then asks.

“4:30. It might finish earlier but I’ll let you guys know. Why?” Sunggyu answers nonchalantly. He could sense that they’re planning to go to a café or a restaurant, or just play at the good ol’ arcade near the campus.

“First dinner together for the school year? Our tradition?” Myungsoo says, trying to ring a bell to the older. Sunggyu then suddenly remembers that; his mouth forming an O after recalling.

Sungjong crosses his arms, “You forgot about it, didn’t you?”

Sunggyu shakes his head furiously, hoping that it could mask the lie that he did forget it, “Me? Forget about it?! Never. Okay. Never!” He emphasizes on the ‘never’.

Woohyun snickers, “Ah, Sunggyu hyung. I know you. You really forgot that.”

Sunggyu then glares at the younger before returning his gaze to the others. He mutters an apology then explains, “I was just busy over the summer, okay? That might’ve slipped out of my mind while moving.”

“Ah, I almost forgot you moved in with your cousins,” Dongwoo points out, earning nods from the others, “Don’t worry! You could tell us about what happened on your summer.” He suddenly spots the minute hand of Sunggyu’s watch reaching the 15-minutes-left mark and pushes the older away from the group, “And you will tell us once you finish your classes! Run along now! You might be late!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll text you guys later,” Sunggyu dismisses and stops Dongwoo from pushing. He acknowledges everyone and stares at Woohyun — squinting to be exact — before he heads out.

Today’s going to be a long day.

* * *

“I’m hom— what are you doing?”

“I’m exercising! Gotta stay fit and healthy!”

Sunggyu raises an eyebrow as he watches his oldest cousin doing aerobics in the living room at 7 in the evening. He sees Seokjin seated on the couch, eating a bowl of congee while watching Pilkyo’s workout video.

“It’s not common for you to just whip out the yoga mat and start doing Zumba there, hyung,” Sunggyu deadpans as Pilkyo continues to move to the salsa.

“Sunho hyung and Chungjae hyung will be getting married so he decides to do that heinous thing,” Seokjin answers for the exercising eldest Kim. Pilkyo continues to dance, exaggerating his stretches when the beat became loud. Sunggyu rolls his eyes before shuffling to the bedroom.

“You could’ve done that while we were on vacation,” Sunggyu calls out as he reaches the room.

“It was all sudden! I need to be fit when I get my suit measurements!” Pilkyo answers back, almost breathlessly as he continues the routine.

Sunggyu then closes the door of the room and changes into comfortable home wear. He had a nice dinner with his friends; he got to explain moving in with his cousins and his law admission test. The others also told stories of their summer: Dongwoo’s detailed narrative of his Busan trip with Howon, Sungyeol’s trip to Everland with his family, Myungsoo’s vacation in Japan, and Sungjong’s productive workdays at his family’s café.

Woohyun didn’t share his story though, but Sunggyu knows that he was the only one who knows his shenanigans over the summer. The younger’s just good in acting like he already told his story. Sunggyu actually feels honored that he gets to keep most of the younger’s secrets and adventures. While it really annoys him, he still feels giddy whenever he rethinks that Woohyun trusts him more.

His phone buzzes and he peer over to see a message from Nam Woohyun. He smiles as he reads the message.

**From: Namu**

I hope you got home safe~ See you tomorrow?

**To: Namu**

I’m at home.

Stop worrying.

See you tomorrow 😊

He groans inwardly. Nobody needs to know what he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my shortest update for this fic! the next chapter would start the cousins' point-of-views so i hope you guys anticipate it! 'til then!
> 
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols (for anything kpop) or @codenametitanic (for anything writing)


	5. Feelings

Academically, being a Kim is hard.

Don’t misunderstand Seungkwan: he’s doing well in school — balancing academics and extracurriculars like those chemical equations in stoichiometry — and has gotten pretty decent grades. Just like his other cousins, he didn’t escape Jonghoon’s constant nagging about contributing in the school newspaper. Writing is the last thing that Seungkwan would want to do, so he lied that his clubs were ‘already demanding and time-consuming’.

But no matter how much he worked hard and get his shit together, he is still struggling.

Every day, he thinks that he’s lagging behind his cousins. He knows that he shouldn’t compare himself to them — who are obviously in university and got their own schedules — but he does, mentally debating how they could still ace exams even though they were a part of equally-draining organizations in school and still manage to attend social gatherings.

He never told his cousins or even his own stepbrother about his problems, believing that he might cause unnecessary chaos in their lives. And when he does have those mini-breakdowns, he would keep it to himself and put on that happy façade — pretending everything is fine when it’s not.

With SATs approaching fast, every single day felt like a drag. Review materials and textbooks sprawled on his study desk, with a schedule taped by the wall. Seokmin would remind him to rest or take a quick nap, all of which Seungkwan would neglect since it’ll mess up the schedule. He had to cancel plans with his friends, which somewhat placed a strain among them.

Seungkwan had to study well in order to please his cousins, most especially Pilkyo.

The eldest Kim would bother him about his university plans, mostly egging him to go to one of the SKY universities. “SKY aren’t just your final destinations, Kwan,” Seokjin says over dinner last night, “go to where you are comfortable. You don’t need to be like us.”

_You don’t need to be like us_ , that statement stuck on Seungkwan. But he doubts.

_Do they really care? Even if I don’t get into those schools?_

* * *

The last bell rings and Seungkwan immediately gathers all of his belongings. His Jonghoon hyung scheduled an English and Mathematics tutoring session later that afternoon. As much as he would want to skip tutor, Jonghoon will surely reprimand him and insist that he would be the one teaching instead.

He slings his bag as he walks out of the classroom, only to be stopped by an outstretched arm by the door. He lunges forward and is caught by the waist, a familiar scent wafting through his nostrils.

“Hey Boo,” the deep voice registers in his ears. Seungkwan flicks the owner’s forehead, “Stop doing that Hansol.”

Hansol, still smiling widely, wraps his arm around the older’s waist and proceeds to walk along the corridor. Students were filing out of classrooms, some running to their lockers while others chatting with their friends. They manage to catch Mingyu’s attention while he’s having a conversation with Jihoon.

“Well, hello you two,” Mingyu greets once the duo reaches the lockers, “do you have plans later this afternoon?”

Seungkwan shakes his head as he pries the younger’s arm away, which the latter playfully persisted until Seungkwan pinched his arm, “I have tutor.” Hansol winces and rubs his arm, while the other two giggled at their antics. "Hey, apologize to Hansol, will you?" Jihoon pats the younger's shoulder. Seungkwan scowls at Hansol's direction, "He can manage that, hyung. He's just acting like a big baby." Hansol squints, and Seungkwan sticks his tongue out, mocking the other.

Mingyu crosses his arms as he leans by the lockers, diverting back to the topic, “You’re really serious with those SKY applications huh?” Seungkwan never explicitly told his best friends about his plans, but he senses that they’re aware since he’s part of the _prominent_ Kim cousins. He nods at Mingyu’s question anyway.

Seungkwan is saved when Hansol switches the taller student’s attention. He didn’t want them prodding about his personal life anyway. “What are you planning anyway, hyung?”

“Wonwoo hyung invited us to study at this new café, near our usual _samgyetang_ place,” Mingyu answers ever so casually, “I couldn’t go because of basketball practice, but you could fill in for me.”

“Did you even apologize first, hyung?” Seungkwan suddenly asks, “you know how Wonwoo hyung reacts when you turn him down…”

Mingyu waves his hand dismissively, “I _did_ , and I promised him a date once I’m done with our match next month.”

Jihoon wrinkles his nose when he thinks of those basketball games, “Have you even started studying for the SATs?”

Mingyu nods eagerly, “ _Yes_ hyung! Wonwoo hyung and I studied all summer long.”

“You sure the two of you studied _only_?” Hansol quirks an eyebrow, a smirk creeping across his face. Mingyu shoves the younger but they only laughed. They know how active those two with their sex lives.

Seungkwan glances at his watch and hurriedly waved goodbye to his friends, Hansol trailing behind him. While passing through the crowded hallways, he realized that he forgot to ask Mingyu when would Wonwoo be in that café. He mentally facepalms as he gets out of the school, Hansol moving beside him.

“I’ll just ask Wonwoo hyung directly if he’s there, and then I could ask hyung to go to that new café, that way I could still be with him,” Seungkwan mutters as he reaches for his phone in his pocket.

“You’re going to tire your tutor by that,” Hansol answers as they walk along the pavement. Seungkwan glares at his direction but ponders on that thought. He might look like a demanding student if he ever does that, but his Jonghoon hyung says that he’ll deal with the tutor if he won’t follow his requests.

So he sends the message and grins triumphantly at Hansol. “I still made him go there.”

“How are you even sure it’s a guy?!” Hansol’s tone was incredulous, feeling bad for his best friend’s tutor. Seungkwan huffs and stops walking, snapping his head at the other’s direction. He actually forgot how annoying Hansol is, constantly bugging him until he finally answers.

“One, Jonghoon hyung told me it’s one of his friends, who is a guy,” Seungkwan raises one finger, “two, hyung also told me that I could ask requests like where we would study,” followed by another finger, “and three, stop asking me too much. I’m so close to leaving you here.” He raises the last one before he walks away.

Footsteps came running towards him and Hansol appears, remaining silent beside him. Well, that sure shut Hansol up. An impatient Seungkwan is a ticking bomb close to exploding, so Hansol had to diffuse his way out.

It’s a long walk until they reach the main road. Some students cycled past them, while some walked and ran towards the end of the sidewalk. Fall is just around the corner, thanks to the changing temperatures outside.

“Can I join you? I’m not yet in the mood to go back home,” the younger timidly inquires, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep quiet.”

Seungkwan thinks for a moment before he nods and links his arm with the younger. “But you have to buy me food there, though.”

“Sure.”

* * *

They reach the café that Wonwoo described, and they see him at the far end. The older waves at them and the two made a beeline towards his table. “I’m so glad someone managed to come here! I also asked the others but Minghao is the only one who replied,” he sighs in frustration.

“Ah, I think Seokmin hyung’s coming here with Soonyoung hyung though. He still has a meeting with the music club,” Seungkwan says as he cranes his head around the café to find his tutor. The latter replied a few minutes before they arrived, saying that he’s already there and is wearing a black cardigan.

“Oh? Siwon hyung’s here,” Hansol suddenly notes. Seungkwan turns around and looks at the direction Hansol is facing — a guy wearing a black cardigan. He looks calm while reading through a page of his binder, sipping his drink occasionally.

Seungkwan sends another message to his tutor while looking at the gentleman. He observes the gentleman’s phone lighting up and his head cranes around, looking for the sender.

“Siwon hyung!” Hansol calls out at the same time and the guy’s head follows the younger’s voice. The gentleman squints his eyes, before bursting into an exaggerated wave.

“My tutor is your brother?” Seungkwan mumbles as he continues to stare at black cardigan guy. Hansol runs towards the table and hastily put his bag down, sitting beside the gentleman. Seungkwan turns back, “I’m so sorry hyung! I made my tutor go here so you wouldn’t be alone and—”

“Hey, hey, it’s fine,” Wonwoo replies calmly, “As you said, Soonyoung and Seokmin will be coming here so I’ll be fine. I could still see you from this seat anyway.”

Seungkwan frowns; he didn’t want his hyung to be lonely in that seat. The table, where his tutor and his brother are, is big enough to accommodate everyone who will be coming. Wonwoo has waited long enough only to be left again. Before he could say anything, he grabs all of his hyung’s books and loose papers and brought them all to the other table.

“Seungkwan—”

“I insist. Also, the tutor wouldn’t mind. Jonghoon hyung will flip if he rejects my pleas,” Seungkwan says as he leaves, placing the materials beside his seat. Wonwoo huffs and gathers all of his remaining study materials before transferring to the new spot.

The tutor chuckles as he watches the scene unfold. Seungkwan fumbles slightly before taking his seat, “I’m sorry if I took so long, hyung.”

Siwon grins and removes his binder, replacing it with a notebook labeled _English_ in fancy writing. Hansol already began writing on his notebook, probably an exercise that his brother has already prepared. “It’s fine. As long as your Jonghoon hyung doesn’t kill me for not teaching you well.”

Seungkwan represses a chuckle as he lays down his notebook and writing materials. Wonwoo took his seat beside Seungkwan and greets the tutor, “I’m sorry if I’m going to intrude your lessons sir—” “I don’t mind! If you also need anything, just let me know, yes?” Siwon persists before he focuses his attention back to Seungkwan, who is getting ready for the session.

As per the 2nd Kim’s directives, Siwon has to tutor Seungkwan with English and Mathematics. Jonghoon had already sent him a list of lessons that they need to cover for the day, alongside a note that Siwon needs to help him with whatever homework he has.

It took him only 2 hours before Seungkwan finishes with the English exercises that Siwon provided together with the elder’s rationalization. English is not Seungkwan’s forte, mostly because he butchers the pronunciation of most words, but he enjoys the grammar and some supplementary literary works.

“Why don’t we take a break? Your brains must be fried now,” Siwon suggests as he notices Hansol sleeping on the table. Wonwoo and Seungkwan giggled before the latter agrees to the 10-minute break.

Wonwoo insists on buying but Siwon made him sit down, and he stands up to buy everyone’s orders. “I’ll get one cookie and an iced Americano instead, hyung!” Seungkwan hollers his changed menu as the older walks away from the table.

The sun is still up despite that it’s almost 6 in the evening. Sooner or later, the vernal equinox would stop by to lessen the daylight. Students walk outside with their friends; adults focus on their phones or listen to their music while strolling. _It’s a good day_ , Seungkwan thinks as he stares outside of the café. If he wasn’t busy with the SATs and this tutor, he could’ve continued reading a book or force his cousins to go on a biking adventure around Seoul.

Siwon returns and gently rests the tray full of their snacks and drinks. Hansol stirs awake and wipes his mouth, earning giggles from Wonwoo and Seungkwan.

“Thank you for this, sir!” Wonwoo says as he plucks a macaron from the plate. Siwon holds up his hand dismissively, “Ah, don’t call me that! Call me hyung, okay? Besides, you’re Seungkwan’s and Hansol’s friend.”

Wonwoo smiles shyly before biting into the macaron. Seungkwan also takes the only iced Americano and cookie on the tray, mumbling a soft ‘thanks’ to the tutor before biting into the snack. The café is still vacant, a few customers scattered throughout the vicinity. It’s wide and has two floors, with a pink ‘life begins after coffee’ neon sign posted on a wall and a flight of stairs. Potted plants surround corners of the first floor and small paintings framed on its walls.

“Boo didn’t tell me that you’re his tutor,” Hansol’s voice snapped him out of his observations. His eyes turn back to his drink and to the siblings in front of him. The siblings sport a similar quaff hairstyle with Hansol having a light brown color. Their mannerisms are almost the same as well, but Siwon is more composed than the younger.

“You’ve heard of Kim Jonghoon, right?” Siwon asks, and Hansol nods as he recalls the name, “Well, Seungkwan is Jonghoon’s youngest cousin, and he made me one of his tutors since they’re busy.”

Hansol nods slowly as he absorbs the information. Seungkwan chuckles and sips into his iced coffee, “Hansol didn’t tell me he has a brother too.”

Siwon gasps and clutches over his chest, “Are you disowning me?!”

The younger blinks and gestures, trying to explain that he was planning to. The three of them burst into laughter, Hansol being flustered and fumbles on grabbing another macaron.

The laughs faded and Seungkwan’s phone then lit up; he types furiously before returning it back near his book. “Who is it?” Wonwoo inquires as he dusts off the crumbs from his hands.

“Seokmin hyung. They’re almost here,” Seungkwan announces as he leans back, “Should we wait for them, hyung? Before we start the next session?”

Siwon looks at his watch, stares at the table as he taps on the table, “I don’t see why not.”

* * *

The table, once catering four people, is now fully occupied. Customers come in increments, the line by the counter building up. Seokmin has arrived along with Soonyoung and Minghao. Jihoon surprisingly came in a few minutes later with Seungcheol in tow. Chan arrives last, his bag pack leaping as well when he rushes to the table.

Mr. Sun has finally set and the outside is starting to darken. Street lights illuminated the pavement and cars are now using their headlights. People continue to walk around, holding their beverages on one hand and bags on the other.

Siwon has willingly helped the others with their homework. He also pulled everyone into a discussion about basic statistics. Even though Seungcheol is in university, Siwon managed to ask him about his projects after the younger learned that he’s a business major as well.

“Give me your phone,” Siwon asks Seungcheol after they wrapped up the session for today. Seungcheol hastily hands his phone, almost dropping on the floor but Seungkwan’s reflexes saved the day and hands it over to the eldest.

The tutor types in his number and saves it as ‘Siwon hyung’ before handing it back to the still-dazed Seungcheol. Seungkwan laughs when Seungcheol looked like he was going to explode, but Jihoon managed to get his boyfriend together as he slaps him softly to snap him out of his fanboy mode.

They all leave the café and Siwon and Hansol part ways with the others. Seungkwan points at his phone when he catches Hansol’s eyes, the latter gesturing a thumbs up before turning back and walking beside his older brother.

“What took you guys so long?!” Wonwoo whines as they walk to the opposite direction.

Soonyoung rubs his nape embarrassingly, “Sorry about that! We met up with the drama club and discussed the songs for the upcoming play.”

“Ah,” Seungkwan then faces the others while walking backward, “I almost forgot that they’re going to use one of Seokjin hyung’s plays.” He looks at Seokmin apologetically, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately, hyung.”

Seokmin waves him dismissively, “Nah, it’s fine! We should tell hyung about that; he could help us with everything.”

Seungkwan nods before he faces back to the street. They continue to talk about school and asking about Seungcheol’s university life (and if Jihoon has been jealous about the people he meet on campus). “Nope,” Seungcheol shakes his head as they stop by the pedestrian lane, “this fella’s strong. Also, he occasionally stops at my dorm to drop off his home-cooked meals.”

“Probably to let everyone know Jihoon exists,” Wonwoo whispers, which he earned a slap from Jihoon, “I heard than Jeon.” Together with Soonyoung and Seungkwan, Wonwoo chuckles at his friend’s act.

“We stan a supportive boyfriend!” Seokmin hollers while walking on the pedestrian lane after the cars have stopped.

Jihoon and Soonyoung depart on one street where they live, Seungcheol giving a flying kiss to the younger and everyone gagging at the sudden action. “You know, you all will experience that kind of love where you’ll be on your dorkiest self when you’re around that person,” Seungcheol points out as they stroll away.

And Seungcheol’s right. Seungkwan has seen his Pilkyo hyung and his boyfriend being all domestic and sometimes chaotic whenever they’re in the car. And, before, he also observed his Seokjin hyung and Namjoon hyung sending finger hearts whenever they look at each other.

He hasn’t experienced that kind of love yet and probably it wouldn’t happen in a few years’ time, even if he wants to. Would someone even make him feel that way even? Despite his personal struggles and self-deprecation when no one is watching?

* * *

**From: Hansol**

Are you at home now?

**To: Hansol**

Yes.

Thanks for today

**From: Hansol**

If you have any questions, you can ask me

Or I could give you hyung’s number

**To: Hansol**

I’ll let you know

Yah!

Don’t worry about me

**From: Hansol**

How could I not worry?

You look like something drained you out

You know I’m here right?

**To: Hansol**

I know

Good night

**From: Hansol**

See you tomorrow Boo

Seungkwan stares at his phone after the last message. Butterflies have suddenly appeared in his stomach. Hansol has probably noticed the sudden change in his personality. He sighs deeply as he places his phone on his nightstand, staring blankly across the dirty white walls before sleep could take over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first p.o.v + longest update (so far!) is here! i had a last-minute revision because i'm trying to show seungkwan's fun personality~ i hope i gave justice to it >_< anyway, comments are appreciated! see you on the next update!
> 
> follow me on Twitter: @hyesunggyeols (stan acct) or @codenametitanic (writing)


	6. Persuasions

Free weekends are a rare gem to Seokjin. Given his hectic schedule — with a part-time job and university on his plate — he didn’t have any time to unwind or work on editing the second draft of his upcoming play. Hanyang’s theater organization’s adviser handed him back the first draft, asking him to create some major revisions on loopholes and unclear scenes. Overall, she loved the play and gave Seokjin some suggestions.

He works at South Korea’s famous production and theater company — Bighit — for a few weeks now. Lately, this was the first time he wasn’t given any new scripts to proofread or any costume research. This weekend was the deadline for pitching ideas for the company’s upcoming project for their anniversary, and he already passed his two days ago.

Surprisingly, his professors didn’t give any assignments and home reading for the week. He already caught up in all of the lessons and he plans to review for the midterms the following week.

Seokjin decides to make his weekends productive despite the lack of workload. Thankfully, Wonshik reminded his older brother about the pending friend date between him and Hakyeon. Candle-making has been one of Hakyeon’s newest hobbies, piquing Seokjin’s interest as well. The 4th Kim decided to make the date happen, so he calls the older on a Friday morning. They both agreed on meeting on Sunday, seeing that Hakyeon doesn’t have anything to do also over the weekends.

Come Sunday, everyone in the household is quiet. Seokjin actually expects for his Pilkyo hyung to do his Zumba, but is met with a silent atmosphere. Probably still asleep or reviewing.

Writing a play means intense focus and continuous flow of inspiration, which are the two things that he lacks as of the moment. For this year, he just wrote the draft just because he needs to. He definitely deserved those revisions so he could snap back to reality. Good thing nothing bothers his creative mind space, for now.

He returns to skimming his draft for errors when a faint knock was heard. The door opened and he’s greeted by the two youngest Kims. When Seungkwan informed that their theater club would be using one of his plays for their annual school play, Seokjin quickly jumps to his feet and pull out a thick clear book titled ‘Epiphany’. He ushers them to the living room, seeing that Wonshik is wearing noise-canceling headphones.

Sitting down on the fuzzy carpet, Seokjin flips open the clear book. “So you have chosen _Epiphany_?” he looks at the two, with Seokmin fumbling over his notebook and pen. Seungkwan nudges his stepbrother to keep himself together and nods to his older cousin’s inquiry, “Yes hyung. Daehwi didn’t like any of the committee’s choices for the annual play so he decided to use one of your plays.”

Choosing a play is the most stressful meeting Seungkwan has been to. He watches as how the members of the committee defended their chosen pieces and would be narrowed down into three top contenders. When they were presented to this year’s club president, Lee Daehwi, he practically scrapped them all. “Will we keep on sticking to Shakespearean and mainstream plays?!” his tone wasn’t friendly, but Seungkwan remembers that it shifted into something calmer. Everyone looked anxious back there.

“Let’s do something different. What about Kim Seokjin-ssi’s works? They’re good and I feel like we could pull them off despite how expensive it looks on stage,” Daehwi then suggested.

Which led to the president/appointed director asking Seungkwan to ask his cousin about _Epiphany_. The club actually got the script and has consulted with the music club, but they still wanted to hear something from the playwright himself.

“Well, I am honored that my work would be performed in your school,” Seokjin says with a playful tone of reverence, “and I’m also glad that you chose my favorite play.”

_Epiphany_ is his favorite work and was written on the summer of his freshman year. When uninspired, he consults Pinterest, shows, K-dramas, books, even social media. The play was inspired by his friends posting several encouragements and motivational quotes on Facebook, and Jungkook being too emo on Twitter.

He learned that Jungkook was dumped by his then-girlfriend and has been struggling to move on. Seokjin felt bad as he wasn’t there to comfort his youngest friend. “It’s fine hyung,” Jungkook replied a few minutes later, “the other hyungs have been a great help.”

After their conversation, he embarked on messaging some of his friends — partially, to check on them; mostly, to gather data for this new idea floating in his mind.

Once he finished collating all of his friends’ answers, he starts to make the working draft of _Epiphany_. It went through only a few revisions, with his adviser praising for its simplicity and modernity. The play’s approach to self-love and self-actualization appealed to younger audiences, launching him as a playwright in the theater organization.

“There’s not a lot of songs for this play,” Seokjin slides the clear book across the table and Seokmin starts to flip through the pages, “although I do suggest asking your Yoongi hyung if you want to check out the original melodies. He mostly did all of them.”

The step-cousin furrows his eyebrows as he stops by a page, the music sheet titled ‘Begin’, “Isn’t this Jungkook’s recital piece?”

Seungkwan peers over and starts to hum the first few bars, then proceeding to the chorus, “There are some notes that are similar to what he sang.”

“Ah, he used this for his recital, correct?” Seokjin looks at his cousins, and they nod simultaneously, “Well, he did. Yoongi tweaked it and made it more EDM-ish, since Kook planned to dance on it. The lyrics were original and were based on the play. I had to help him with it.”

His youngest friend loved the play when he first watched it. Jungkook immediately informed Seokjin of his desire to use ‘Begin’ for his upcoming recital at school after hearing it. Yoongi, also, gladly helped their friend, also contributing a few lyrics.

Everyone loved _Epiphany_ a lot, and Seokjin is happy about the positive feedback and reviews of the play. However, he couldn’t bring himself to watch it again since its first screening.

The play held many bittersweet memories, most particularly with Namjoon. His ex-boyfriend actively helped him in writing the play, suggesting appropriate scenes and characters. Namjoon also reminded Seokjin to rest or take a break, sensing the fatigue setting on him whenever in front of the monitor.

Scenes of snuggling into the younger’s arms slowly occupied his mind, with a few more popping out of nowhere. It also showed their first major fight and how it all went downhill ever since.

When _Epiphany_ was first screened, he and Namjoon were watching it from the backstage. Namjoon then softly places a kiss on his cheek — surprisingly, Seokjin could feel it even it was a memory — and mumbles a soft “good job, love.”

He thought that everything would be okay once the play is done. He even planned to watch the play alongside Namjoon. Even if it would take place outside of Korea. But he was wrong.

He was so wrong.

Sudden opportunities made him fall behind his relationship with Namjoon. He couldn’t blame the play entirely — he still considers it as one of his favorite works — but he also couldn’t bring himself to watch it again.

Different school organizations and theater companies invited him to watch their adaptation, but Seokjin would politely decline. He would still send them a stroke of “good luck and break a leg,” just like how Namjoon did it for him.

They continued discussing the production and its related features, with Seokjin allowing them for alterations, “As long as I’m aware of it. I could also give suggestions.”

Seungkwan then hands his phone with the club president/director’s contact details, “Just in case you want to directly talk to him. I feel like I could be a cause of miscommunication.”

Seokjin stands up and walks to the room, “But what if I want to talk to you instead?”

The youngest Kim bursts into a fit, “Hyung~! You know I’m not good at those! There’s a reason why I’m not elected as the class PRO!”

While he’s known to be the most talkative person in the entire student body, Seungkwan doesn’t like to relay messages that could possibly harm the other. One time, he tried to inform his teacher about a classmate’s inquiry, and it clearly messed things up.

The 4th Kim returns and hands back the youngest’s phone. The stepsiblings thanked their hyung before shuffling to stand up. Barely passing their hyung, Seokjin then asks, “How are you guys holding up? SATs are just around the corner.”

Seungkwan sighs, “I don’t know if I could, like, level myself with you guys.”

Seokjin smiles sadly. Due to his demanding schedule, he hasn’t been contributing a lot to the youngest Kims. Moral support and recreation would be the only things that he could give for the two.

“You know,” Seokjin pulls them behind him and lets them sit back down on the couch, “you guys don’t need to follow our footsteps. Fuck whatever hyung pushes you to do! As long as the two of you are happy, I’m happy too.” The 4th Kim really gets protective when he sees his younger cousins, or even his own younger brother, looking unlike their usual personality.

SATs have obviously sucked out the hyperactivity from Seungkwan and Seokmin doesn’t look that happy. While Seokjin notes that most of his cousins’ friends and even his own friends back then look relaxed, he and his cousins have undergone intense review and tutorial sessions.

“I’m scared to fail,” Seungkwan mutters as he plays with his fingers, “the hyungs look like their lives sorted out. While I’m here, struggling with time management.”

There wasn’t a visible hyung during the course of their review journey. No one was there to listen to the boys’ ramblings about their problems — both in academics and social life. Seokjin is guilty of it, mostly because he keeps on promising to himself that he’ll be the supportive cousin.

He obviously failed in that aspect, but there’s still time.

So, he lets them speak. From mental breakdowns to concerns about their review. Seokmin hesitates to voice his struggles, but slowly — with the help of the 4th Kim’s gentle egging — he manages to speak and bring up whatever bothers him.

After a few tear-shedding and funny stories, Seokjin has learned a lot for the boys. Gone are the days where everything went by easy. Of course, there is this huge gap between their generations, but Seokjin didn’t realize that it was _this huge_.

It was nice to listen to their ramblings. He notices how Seungkwan slowly went back to his positive and talkative personality, and Seokmin breaks into a smile or a laugh whenever anecdotes would tickle his funny bone.

The older holds each of his younger cousins’ hands in his, “If you have any problems, or you just want to talk, don’t hesitate to approach me or any of the hyungs. You deserve all of our attention and love, okay?” He looks at them with soft and sincere eyes before he continues, “Wherever you guys will be going, I’ll be here to support you. Every step of the way.”

Seokmin shifts his position, tucking one leg under the other. He looks like he’s hesitating to speak up, but the 4th Kim stayed silent. He rubs circles on his step-cousin, attempting to calm the storm stirring in his system. Waiting for someone on the verge to speak is better than to egg that person.

“You have to tell us about yours too, hyung,” Seokmin mutters, almost in a whispering tone.

The break-up has been over a few weeks, but Seokjin still doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone. Sooner or later, he has to tell it. Pent-up emotions are threatening to spill any second, and he had to act fast in order to prevent any damage. He hasn’t chosen a specific person to open up to — his friends might get annoyed if he brings it up, and his cousins are 24/7 in their own worlds.

Hearing that the boys would be willing to listen to him soothes Seokjin. It sounded like he’s not a burden, and he’s also someone else’s top priority. He doesn’t deserve all of this, to be honest.

He didn’t realize that tears have already formed and fallen on his cheeks. Seungkwan breaks free from his hold to fetch the box of tissues, returning quickly and hands it to his hyung, “It must be so bad.”

Seokjin smiles despite the continuous flow of his tears, “I’ll tell you once I’m comfortable, okay? Thank you for your concerns.”

The boys smile and Seokjin reaches out to ruffle their hairs. It has been his reflex, an endearment even. Even though they’re growing up fast, the two stepsiblings will always be a child in Seokjin’s eyes.

Seokmin starts to gather all of his belongings, while Seungkwan leaves the living area to the room. “Hey, uh, hyung?” the step-cousin asks when everything is in his arms. Seokjin hums in response, letting the boy continue.

“Can I study outside? I’ll be with a few friends, oh and with Soonyoung hyung too,” Seokmin cheekily says, his face almost hiding behind the clear book.

Seokjin has heard quite a lot about this Soonyoung, so he agrees and tells him to return before sunset. The step-cousin yells an affirmative before disappearing into the bedroom.

The 4th Kim shuffles back to his room and sees that Wonshik is done with his work. “I heard everything,” his younger brother says, not looking up from his phone.

Seokjin sighs as he opens his closet, pulling out an outfit for his meeting, “We should be around more often, no?”

Wonshik clicks his tongue, eyes still trained on his phone, “I should also be more friendly. Do I look scary, hyung?!”

He peers over from his closet, chuckling as he spots a pout on his younger brother’s face. Wonshik has always tried his best to express his affections, but he has always been cooped up in his bedroom. If not busy with Youtube, a calculator and the sound of punching its buttons would occupy him.

“Try to be more visible to the boys, and even help them with Math. Siwon hyung can’t always teach them everything,” the 4th Kim says, “You’re a freaking Engineering major. Siwon hyung’s in business!”

Wonshik suppresses his snicker, but it’s true. He should be more out in the open. He also loves the younger ones dearly so what better way to show his affections is through an impromptu tutor.

When Seokjin is all dressed up, he grabs a paper bag from the room and tells Wonshik to message him the items that he wants to buy. “And can Seungkwan stay in here too? I’ll let him use my desk. Also, help him if he has any questions,” Seokjin says as he puts on his thick navy blue coat. Wonshik nods and his older brother disappears from the doorframe.

As he makes a beeline to the door, he yells an “I’ll be going now!” before asking Seungkwan to join his Wonshik hyung in their room. The youngest breaks into a small smile and gathers all his things. He leaves the room and walks towards the door. He sighs; he really needs to push himself to do things and try not to worry a lot about his cousins.

* * *

Zumba workout videos flash on the television screen. Sunggyu’s eyes lazily shift his eyes alternately between the videos and the eldest Kim moving aggressively to the rhythm.

“You don’t need to overdo it,” the 3rd Kim comments when Pilkyo finishes the video. Grabbing his towel on the back of the sofa, Pilkyo wipes off the sweat dripping from his forehead.

“It’s one way to lose weight, Gyu,” he says once he catches his breath. The 3rd Kim rolls his eyes, “You could’ve done this back in summer. And don’t use that suit fitting excuse on me, hyung.”

Sunggyu has always been the most straightforward Kim among the cousins. He’s quite frank and doesn’t beat around the bush. Despite his stoic and reserved demeanor, he still cares for the ones he holds dearly — although not freely.

Pilkyo throws away the towel towards Sunggyu, albeit a little carelessly. The 3rd Kim groans when it hits his arm, mumbling incoherent complaints. The Chloe Ting exercise then pops into the screen and Sunggyu crosses his arms once he hangs the towel on the back of his couch. “Take it easy on that one, remember the last time you did that and you almost got into an accident.”

The eldest Kim sticks his tongue out and lies down, mentally preparing for the still-unknown movements his body would take.

* * *

Pilkyo spots the younger eating after his Zumba/ab workouts. While he’s obviously tempted to eat, the eldest Kim restraints himself and hurriedly went to the room. He times his rest for a few minutes, before running out to take a bath.

“I heard Seokjin talking to Kwan and Min about the SATs,” Sunggyu brings up when Pilkyo finally sits down in front of him. Showering in the evening is more of Pilkyo’s thing even before he starts exercising, since he doesn’t have time to do it in the morning. He admits that he loves long showers because it relaxes him. Good thing they have two bathrooms.

“And?” Pilkyo asks, still wiping off the excess water dripping from his damp hair.

“We should be around them more, like, moral support or something,” the 3rd Kim leans back and puts down his spoon in the bowl, “Also, stop influencing them to go to SKY. Aren’t you happy that hyung, Wonshik, and I are in them?”

Pilkyo bites the insides of his cheeks. He just wants the best for his cousins, wishing that they’ll be able to follow his footsteps. While it is a selfish move to urge them to do well in the SATs in order to get to SKY, he still promises to be behind the youngest Kims’ backs when they finally choose their respective universities and majors.

Sunggyu crosses his arms, leaning back against the back of the chair. “I know you’re _not_ that much of a dictator, hyung. But just let them be. They’ll be fine, they’ll know what to do.”

And Pilkyo believes in that. They’ll be fine.

Although he hopes that they would still ask him for anything. He’s really glad to help and pay it forward.

The 3rd Kim stretches, “Anyway, Myung told me something.”

Pilkyo’s ears perk up. When Sunggyu mentions the younger’s name, it would either mean good or bad. Mostly good. But he feels like something knotted in his gut.

He leans forward and rests his chin on his hand, whispering something top secret, “Looks like Wookie hyung’s planning to ask someone to a date.”

The eldest Kim gasps, “No.” And Sunggyu nods furiously.

Even though it’s not obvious, but the two know that something is going on between Jonghoon and Ryeowook. Friends don’t excessively hold hands, or reply with sweet endearments, or even buy stuff for each other! Sunggyu feels like Jonghoon is still in denial, the latter piping up with a “we’re just _friends_ , Gyu.”

_Sure, just friends_ , Sunggyu mocks in his thoughts as he peers one time to see his brother and his Wookie hyung exchanging sickeningly sweet messages.

“What do you think would happen?” Pilkyo whispers. They’re quite aware that Jonghoon is in their room, and even though he’s probably wearing earbuds — blasting either Beethoven or the latest K-pop tunes — he could still hear the conversation beyond the walls.

“I feel like Wookie hyung’s going to ask Jonghoon,” Sunggyu leans back again. He’s pretty sure that the other is harboring feelings to his brother, but he couldn’t pinpoint if it’s real or not.

“Or,” Pilkyo counters, crossing his arms on the table, “It’s another person. I’m betting Kyuhyun.”

Sunggyu’s eyebrows furrow. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook have also been really close, probably because they went to the same school. But Sunggyu doesn’t know a lot about the guy, besides the fact that he’s Siwon’s cousin.

But why do they both feel that Jonghoon might have his heartbroken?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the original chapter 5 was a hyesung-centric chapter, then it became a filler chapter. i was about to paint hyesung as that dictator/strict eldest cousin, but it doesn't look.... natural?? so i changed it back to the chill but annoying eldest cousin 🤣
> 
> anyway, i do hope you liked this update! comments and kudos are very much appreciated~
> 
> follow me on twitter: @hyesunggyeols (stan) / @codenametitanic (writing)


	7. Indecisive

This week, Pilkyo began on a Tuesday. Yesterday’s day-off was mandatory — his boyfriend’s father, Uncle Mun, urged him to take it, “so you could review for the bar!” — and he had no choice to take it. He only managed to do a general cleaning of his part of the bedroom and continued reviewing for his exams.

Alongside the SATs, Pilkyo would also take his bar exams in November — approximately two months from now. He has finished half of the scope, although he curses how complicated the litigation is for cybercrime penalties. Thanks to the day-off, he finally understands it — with the help of his coworker and good friend, Heejoon.

When he arrived at his office, he sadly stares at the stack of work given to him over three days. Uncle Mun promised he would delegate it to either Minwoo or Sunho. Why is it that it’s quietly sitting on his desk? And why does it feel like the day-off is a punishment?

He enters the room and squints when he sees a small pastel blue sticky note on his desk. The handwriting is recognizable, and he suppresses a scoff (or a chuckle, he doesn’t know) while reading it.

_I’m sorry for the documents Pilkyo! They’re all for checking. I don’t want to be reprimanded by the higher-ups >_<_

_Welcome back anyway!_

_\- Minwoo_

He should’ve notified Minwoo not to give it back…

Pilkyo closes his eyes, breathes steadily, before putting away his bag in its respective area. He sits comfortably on his office chair, pushing himself towards his desk and read the first document on top of the pile.

If he were to choose between law school and working, he would probably choose the former. He would definitely trade these papers over those thick textbooks and small books about the penal code. Going into law wasn’t on his radar, but he suddenly decided to go with it after one night of enlightenment. These papers could wait, and Minwoo probably needs the work more than he does.

He’s on a roll though. He has a “Do Not Disturb” sign hanging on his doorknob, he’s playing white noise in the background, and the blinds were set in a way the sun won’t burn his eyeballs. Most of the documents handed to him are half-legal and half-business, with Uncle Mun promising him that he would transfer to the legal team once he passes the exams.

“I’m fine with staying in the business division, Uncle,” he said during a lunch meeting with his Uncle and his boyfriend.

“You sure?” Uncle Mun asks while picking up a leaf from the salad, “I’ll hand business documents relating to law and ethics instead. Is it okay with you?” The only thing Pilkyo remembers is that he nodded, and proceeded to slurp his udon noodles.

A faint knock was heard a few hours later, to which he instinctively answers with a “Come in.”

The door opens, footsteps approach him, and he hears his favorite voice.

“I was wondering if you could check Sunho’s report,” his boyfriend hands him a thick bundle of papers aptly titled ShinCom Monthly Financial Report 2020, “I could approve it, but there are some discrepancies. Do you mind checking them?”

Pilkyo flips over the papers, pushing back his eyeglasses falling slowly from his nose bridge, “You didn’t bother to highlight them, Junghyuk.”

“I know you could detect them. There are a lot of it,” Junghyuk says as he snatches the papers back to his hold, flipping through the pages until he opens it to a particular one, placing it in front of his boyfriend, “This one in particular. I don’t remember having that large sum of money for advertisement.”

Pilkyo scans through the paragraphs, his eyes widening as he sees the said sum of money. He softly smiles and grabs the bundle of papers, “I’ll proofread them once I’m finished with the pending ones. Do you need them now?”

“No, not at all,” Junghyuk gestures, “Sunho just managed to give them to me early so that I could ‘double-check’ them.” He raises his hands, doing air quotations.

Pilkyo chuckles before sliding the bundle to the side of his desk. “Anything else to say, babe?”

His boyfriend shakes his head, strutting towards the door, but stops suddenly before reaching the knob, “What do you want for lunch?”

“I bought mine,” Pilkyo points at the lunch box beside his bag, “I’m not in the mood for fast food.”

Junghyuk nods slowly, “I’ll join you instead. Meet you at the cafeteria?”

Pilkyo smiles before sending a flying kiss to his boyfriend, Junghyuk catching the imaginary kiss and putting it in his chest. They don’t display their affections in public most of the time, but it’s the little gestures like these would make Pilkyo swoon out of nowhere.

* * *

Fortunately, he finishes the stack of papers after lunchtime. He didn’t see any error on Minwoo’s documents and he managed to highlight all of Sunho’s discrepancies. The next thing he needs to do is to get out of his room and hand them over.

He makes a conversation with his Minwoo hyung, wherein he told him not to return his finished documents to his desk since all of them are perfect and the board liked all of his reports. He couldn’t forget the triumphant grin on his friend’s face, thanking him but still promised to notify him once he’s done.

The office area is quiet but he hears a few typing on their laptops and the photocopying machine printing papers. He enjoys the noise and he made sure to open his door once in a while to welcome the silence.

Junghyuk’s office is located on the top floor, probably so he could get used to it once Uncle Mun hands him the company. Sunho works closely with him, but he tends to let Pilkyo double-check whatever business or financial reports the younger does.

So when he reaches the 50th floor, he makes his way to Sunho’s cubicle and slapping him gently on the head. “I told you to check the promotions’ shared file about their expenses.”

Sunho rubs his head in pain, “Ah hyung! I’m sorry! Did Eric hyung…?”

Pilkyo chuckles and nods knowingly, “Yes, he did. I was so close to reprimanding you on the phone but I didn’t so you have to thank me for holding back my anger.”

The younger smiles embarrassingly, apologizing for the errors he did. Pilkyo then hands over the thick folder, “I highlighted the wrong amounts and corrected your grammar. And please don’t give your Eric hyung a headache, okay?”

Sunho nods furiously before snatching the folder from Pilkyo’s hands. The latter chuckles and ruffles his friend’s hair and heads to his boyfriend’s office. The door is closed but he could see him standing by the windows, phone on his ear.

When he arrives in front, he notes his boyfriend sitting down and resumed typing on his laptop. He knocks on the door softly and enters when he hears the approval.

Junghyuk looks up and smiles warmly at him, “Hey babe.”

Pilkyo crosses the room and sits on one of the chairs in front of his boyfriend’s desk. “You look like you’re going to cry.”

His boyfriend removes his eyeglasses, rubbing his eyes with one hand, “One of our shareholders wants to pull out, mostly because of the new contract we did. Dad will kill me if he learns about it.”

Pilkyo reaches for his boyfriend’s hand, rubbing it gently, “Then let them do their version. We’ll look over it and discuss with them what we think about it. I don’t think it’s the end of the world, babe.”

Junghyuk nods, surprised that he hasn’t thought of that before. “I’ll let them know about what we think, and probably bring that up to dad.”

“You have to credit me, okay? He might become suspicious — he knows I’m the only one who could suggest that,” Pilkyo teases as he squeezes his boyfriend’s hand tightly before letting it go.

The other sticks his tongue out before straightening his posture on his seat. “I’ll text you once I’m done with my work. Then we’ll go home together.”

Pilkyo nods before bending over his table to place a soft kiss on him. When he pulls back, he sees Junghyuk blushing madly. He winks before strutting his way out of the office. It’s moments like those that Pilkyo swear it would make his heart flutter over and over again.

* * *

Do you guys want anything for dinner?

SeokMIN

Chicken hyung!!!

Baby Boo

I won’t be eating at home hyung

@Baby Boo and why is that?!

Gyuzizi

He has tutor again

And he’s on a date with Hansol

Baby Boo

@Gyuzizi HYUNG! IT’S NOT A DATE!

@Hoon @Ravi @SeokJIN do you guys want anything?

Can anyone please answer my question?!

“Haven’t you thought of getting married?” Dongwan asks, which snaps Pilkyo out from his phone. Nobody is answering him properly so it’s best to leave the conversation and let them decide on their own. Junghyuk also messaged Pilkyo that he couldn’t come since he already brought up the issue to his father and they’re talking about the possible revisions with the shareholder.

“Not really. Why?”

“We’re getting old,” the younger deadpans.

“Dongwan, being on our late 20s is not old.”

His younger friend squints, “I’m just saying that it’s been years that you and Junghyuk hyung are together. Aren’t you going to settle down with him?”

“We talked about it,” Pilkyo starts, “but I need to finish my bar exams before giving my answer.”

Dongwan stares at him dead in the eyes, “Jung Pilkyo. Junghyuk hyung has been waiting for you since we all graduated college. He sees his life with you and all you have to say is ‘yes’! What’s stopping you, really?”

Marriage is a life-long commitment. Sure, he’s financially ready, but he’s not yet ready to have his attention being halved. He still wants his younger cousins to finish studying — since he volunteered to pay a quarter or a half of their tuition fees, in exchange to free tutoring, of course — and see them flourish in their own paths. He’s being greedy, but being a part of their success is already a big deal for Pilkyo.

He also doesn’t want someone to pressure him into marrying someone. Relatives from both sides have been asking him non-stop when he and Junghyuk are going to get married. Junghyuk would waive them off, telling them that ‘there’s a right time for everything’.

“You haven’t proposed to Minwoo hyung yet,” Pilkyo scoffs as he finishes his bottle of water. He might have been too harsh on his friend when he sees his face contorting into a blend of anger and embarrassment; he grins triumphantly anyway.

Dongwan shoves the last piece of kimbap in his mouth, “This isn’t about me and Minwoo, Pilkyo. I’m just saying this —”

“God, please chew your food first Kim Dongwan!” Pilkyo exclaims after small bits of food flew from his friend’s mouth. Why in the world Minwoo chose this guy, Pilkyo will never know.

Dongwan chews his food before continuing, “I’m just saying this as your mutual friend for almost 10 years. Please do consider getting married, okay? Propose to him, or he proposes to you, I don’t know! Just…. please consider it.”

Pilkyo swears he’s close to throwing his bottle to Dongwan but he just nods. I don’t think good friends pressure you into getting married, he then thinks as he watches his friend stand up and get back to his cubicle.

His phone kept on vibrating while he and Dongwan were talking, so he grabs it hastily in his pocket. They probably managed to decide their dinner, only to be welcomed with 103 unread messages. He scrolls to find a decent string of replies about dinner, sighing in relief as he sees their requests.

* * *

“Do you want to join us for dinner?” Pilkyo enthusiastically asks when his boyfriend walked right up to him. They were, actually, the last employees to leave the building — seeing how empty and how dim the lights are in the lobby.

Junghyuk nods and grabs Pilkyo’s hand, his warmth radiating against the younger, “Let’s buy dinner first. It’s much easier.” The older sure does know what’s in Pilkyo’s mind as if they’ve been sharing the same brain.

They met back in high school, wherein Pilkyo accidentally spilled soda on Junghyuk. The latter was a new student, with rumors circulating that he’s a chaebol — hence his snotty attitude. Everyone doesn’t want to mess or even talk to the new kid, as he looks also scary.

Pilkyo was waiting for the reprimand of his life while repeatedly apologizing when Junghyuk softly told him that he’s okay — in English, so the younger was frozen as he doesn’t know how to respond — and that he has spare clothes in his locker. Who even has time to have extra clothes there?! Pilkyo thinks while helping him wipe the excess liquid dripping.

Ever since that incident, they kept on crossing paths in the cafeteria. Whenever the older is alone, he would sit beside him and he would initiate a conversation. Albeit the initial awkwardness wafting between their conversation, Pilkyo and his natural friendly personality warmed Junghyuk. The younger also offered to be his Korean buddy, as long as the older would also teach him English.

Pilkyo learned that he’s not a scary dude; he’s definitely a chaebol and his father grooms him to become the next heir, but he still has a decent amount of freedom. He doesn’t want to be branded as that snotty, rich kid who flaunts his English. He wants to have friends and to have a normal high school life.

Eventually, Pilkyo introduced him to his other friends. Junghyuk would pick up Korean phrases here and there until he eventually became fluent with it. Although he does converse in English with Sunho, one of their friends. On the other hand, Pilkyo could speak in conversational English, thanks to a bunch of shows the older has recommended him to watch.

They grew on each other, and Pilkyo knew what he’s feeling was far beyond platonic affection. He starts to get this possessive feeling whenever Junghyuk would have dates, or whenever he talks with someone else?! It’s uncanny of Jung Pilkyo to get jealous, as he knows that Junghyuk wouldn’t reciprocate what he’s feeling. However, it made him curious as to why he wants his best friend’s attention to him.

Before graduating high school, Pilkyo confessed to Junghyuk. In straight English. He got a bit of help from Sunho, who gave him a slap on the back after telling him “FINALLY!” Let’s just say that when Pilkyo blinked, he was introduced to Junghyuk’s family immediately — “My boyfriend,” Junghyuk says with so much reverence, and Pilkyo couldn’t forget the genuine look of happiness on the older’s parents.

They make a right and walked straight ahead, “Did you tell them that I’m coming over?”

Pilkyo nods as they stop in front of the chicken place, “They’re excited. Now, what do you want, half-and-half or two boxes?”

* * *

“Babe?” Junghyuk asks while he makes a right turn towards the basement. Traffic isn’t that heavy despite the rush hour, much to Pilkyo’s relief. He doesn’t want to stay a little longer on the road.

Pilkyo hums in response, still typing on his phone. “Has Dongwan told you anything?” his boyfriend inquires as he drives around, looking for a vacant spot.

Pilkyo inwardly sighs. Dongwan and his big mouth. “We already talked about it, right? Once I’m done with my exams, I’ll give you my answer.”

In his peripheral vision, he sees how distraught the older is. Probably it wasn’t even in Junghyuk’s radar that he would be getting married. Maybe he was forced to propose that night? Good thing Pilkyo was in his right mind to turn it down, for now.

“I know, I know,” Junghyuk mumbles as he parks the car, “But… you promise, right? We’re going to get married?”

“Yes, babe,” Pilkyo chuckles. He waits until the car has been parked properly before cupping his boyfriend’s face, caressing it softly, “We don’t need to conform to whatever those dudes are thinking. We’re going to get married and adopt kids, or even fur babies if you want.”

He’s lying. He’s lying right then and there. He lied while they were discussing marriage, using the bar exams as his excuse not to answer him immediately. The reason why he hasn’t agreed was because of his cousins. Call him a stage mother or anything, but his family would always come first. Then Junghyuk.

Junghyuk would understand, right? He does know how much his cousins mean to Pilkyo.

Pilkyo then looks at his boyfriend’s eyes, trying to look authentic with his soft and heart-stricken gaze. Junghyuk reciprocates and plants a soft kiss on Pilkyo’s lips, suddenly deepening it and catching the latter off-guard.

They both pull back, giggling after they absorbed whatever happened. “Let’s continue it once the kids are asleep, hm?” Pilkyo teases as he kisses the tip of his boyfriend’s nose. He sees Junghyuk visibly upset, maybe because of the sudden tent in his pants, but he laughs it off.

He could lie a few more times. He just needs to find the right time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am: BACK~! originally going to post this last week but power interruption happened so here we are 🤣 hyesung's story is kind of hard to explain but i try my best to make it as simple as possible >_<
> 
> i'll see you guys in my next update!  
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols (stan) / @codenametitanic (writing)


	8. Unfathomable

Sunggyu sighs as he watches his (only) girl best friend blocking his way — hands stretched out wide. How many times does he have to say that she’s not allowed to visit the apartment yet? Pilkyo’s boyfriend is the only exception, but the Kim cousins haven’t talked about bringing friends into their humble abode.

“You practically own the place, oppa, so you have every right to invite me in!” she whines, feet stomping frustratingly.

Yoon Bomi and Kim Sunggyu are inseparable, thanks to being friends since kindergarten. And Sunggyu knows how much of a bother the younger is, proving his hunches correct when they stepped into middle school. It’s also the same time Sunggyu drastically changed his personality, from all smiles to devoid of any emotion.

But despite the change, Bomi manages to put a smile on her oppa. It annoys Sunggyu, but it’s the only way also to make him feel happy as well.

“Ugh, fine. Just, don’t make a mess there. Or sound. The neighbors will get mad,” Sunggyu relents and Bomi jumps in excitement, pulling her best friend to the subway station.

In a blink of an eye, Sunggyu finds himself unlocking the apartment’s door. Bomi looks around, marveling at the vast hallway. “How did you guys even get this…?” she whispers.

Orange lights turn on and Sunggyu rushes to his room, organizing his belongings on his desk. Bomi helped herself by the doorstep, removing her shoes and crossing the area. The cousins are still at school, the only day where everyone has classes in the morning.

Sunggyu emerges from his bedroom door, calling Bomi to join him in his humble space. Bomi gasps when she enters, astonished as she looks around the desks and the beds and the whole place.

“So, you room with Jongwoon oppa and Hyesung oppa,” Bomi asks when she finally plops on Sunggyu’s bed, pushing him away to sit on the other bed. She still calls Jonghoon ‘Jongwoon’, despite the change in the first name (thanks to Auntie Kim), and Pilkyo introduced himself as ‘Hyesung’ to anyone besides his family and friends.

Sunggyu nods as he reaches for his reviewers on the edge of his desk. “Are you finally satisfied?”

His best friend beams, nodding as she rolls over her belly. She stretches, rummaging through her bag and flimsily pulling out her reviewers as well. Sunggyu still couldn’t believe that he’ll be forever stuck with his best friend, after learning that she’ll be also taking up law.

“We’re platonic soulmates, oppa!” she exclaims in excitement, despite the mortified look on Sunggyu’s face.

Albeit her boisterous and stubborn personality, Bomi knows her boundaries. When Sunggyu is serious and couldn’t be bothered, she shuts up. The same goes for Sunggyu, who also doesn’t interrupt his best friend whenever she explodes into a story.

If he were to choose on who’s the most annoying best friend between Bomi and Woohyun, he would definitely pick Woohyun. That guy still doesn’t know how to respect his space. But who is he to complain? He enjoys the chaos every once in a while.

Bomi and Woohyun still haven’t met — with Bomi learning about the guy when Sunggyu talks about high school and college, and Woohyun only knowing that Bomi is Sunggyu’s only best friend before he came along.

_Those two will get along pretty well_ , Sunggyu thinks.

Bomi groans after a few minutes, stretching halfway before pulling up her legs to sit crisscrossed. She stares at her oppa, who is deep in solving abstract structures on his reviewer.

“Aren’t you going to tell me about a certain someone?” Bomi inquires curiously.

Sunggyu forgets how to breathe for a second, but tries not to let it show. Unfazed, he flips the page of his reviewer, “Who is?”

“Nam Woohyun? You keep on mentioning about that dude,” his best friend points out as she stretches her legs and stand up by the edge. She stands by Sunggyu’s desk, observing the polaroid photos that his older brother insists on clipping on wooden clothespins, “Whenever you talk about him you get so, I don’t know, vibrant? You get that vibrant aura when you mention about your adventures.”

“I theorize you like him,” Bomi turns to her best friend’s direction, a finger tapping on her chin. Theorize is such a deep, scientific word. For Sunggyu, it meant that Bomi has been observing it for quite a long time.

Sunggyu debates whether to come clean or not. The feelings and how he acts might be obvious to his friends and cousins, but he suppresses the urge to let it be known to anyone. Dongwoo might’ve even guessed it when he finally met Woohyun!

He opens his mouth but Bomi interrupts, “No, don’t answer that yet. I don’t want my observation to be false.”

“Are you trying to put that inductive reasoning in real life?” Sunggyu asks, almost mortified when he realizes what his best friend is doing.

Bomi snaps her fingers, “You’re quick to catch, oppa.”

“God, please get back on studying, Yoon. I’m not yet done with my scope,” Sunggyu groans as he chucks a pillow at her. Bomi sticks her tongue out but retreats back to the bed, sprawling in the process before grabbing her Math reviewer and reading it in the air.

“Bomi, don’t do that. You’ll hurt your eyes,” Sunggyu sees in his peripheral vision. He hears Bomi huff before flopping over to her stomach, continuing her review.

His feelings towards Nam Woohyun aren’t sure yet. He doesn’t want anyone to know about it, as it might cause a false alarm. When he’s ready and when he feels it settle in his heart, he’ll let them know.

* * *

Jonghoon takes a slow bite of his bibimbap, eyes still glued on the phone. Heechul stares at him, surprised at the new mannerism that his best friend has. Most of the time, Jonghoon doesn’t have his phone with him and they would have a decent catch-up talk.

But today… today is different.

Heechul clears his throat, and Jonghoon flits his eyes towards the older, “Aren’t you going to finish my treat for you?”

The younger smiles embarrassingly seeing that the bowl is not yet a quarter empty, so he shoves his phone in his bag after hitting a button on the device. Heechul chuckles at how adorable his best friend acts, and he knows that there’s only one person that makes him act that way.

“So, was that Ryeowook?” he asks smoothly. Jonghoon nods furiously, “He told me about what I would expect for epidemiology class. I’m kind of excited though!”

Jonghoon never talks about anything related to his program whenever he’s around Heechul or Hyukjae, his two best friends. Mostly because there are words that he still couldn’t explain in layman’s terms, and partially because they don’t really care. As long as the three of them support each other in their chosen fields, they don’t need to talk about each other’s businesses.

Heechul nods as he moves his spoon around the bowl. Then they proceeded in catching up about their lives. In a span of two weeks not meeting each other, there was already a whirlwind of events. Siwon was already planning for a joint university fair with KU; Zhou Mi still keeping in touch with Kyuhyun, despite returning to China; Zhou Mi and Henry dating (“Wait, really?! What happened?!” Jonghoon’s jaw dropped after his best friend broke the news); and he and Han Geng holding onto that long-distance relationship.

“Have you ever planned of, like, moving with him to Beijing, though?” Jonghoon leans back after finishing his bowl. He’s aware that Heechul has plans of going overseas, although he doesn’t know if it will really push through.

He watches his best friend look at a distance, possibly gathering enough words to explain to him about it. Moving out isn’t bad, but with other career choices and possible opportunities waiting, it would definitely mess it up.

Jonghoon never planned of moving out permanently; he only thought about it after staying for a few months now with his cousins. It’s not bad being independent, but it’s scary to know that you’re alone, physically, in achieving your dreams.

“To be honest,” Heechul starts, snapping Jonghoon out of his thoughts, “I’ve been researching about how to live permanently there. Like, I know Geng would help me, but it’s better if I know to navigate it alone.”

Jonghoon likes Heechul, a lot. He likes how headstrong he is, how he has a visible goal in his head, and how he handles his extroversion well. He’s good around people and knows basically anyone outside of their circle. Despite their polar opposite personalities, Heechul managed to break the younger out of his shell. The dry senses of humor and old slapstick comedies are all products of Heechul’s egging.

They continue to talk about Heechul’s plans until Jonghoon sees that he has a few minutes left before the next class. Heechul offers to join him since his next class would be in the next building.

Jonghoon thanks Heechul again for the treat — overdued bibimbap from the time the younger had to help Heechul with his major fashion dilemma. Although he’s a known geek with a weird sense of humor, Jonghoon is known for his fashion tastes. It only amplified when he met Zhou Mi, his fashionista-ness rubbing all over Jonghoon.

Heechul dismisses it, saying that it’s the least that he could do. They resume talking about their friends: Hyukjae and his desire to change programs, Donghae preparing for the LEET, and Donghee balancing being a part-time choreographer and his studies.

When they make a turn, Jonghoon’s eyes widen when he sees Ryeowook with someone else. A familiar figure.

Heechul squints his eyes to make out the figure, gasping inaudibly when he sees the figure leaning in to plant a small kiss on Ryeowook’s… cheek? Lips? It’s too hard to see. He yanks Jonghoon away, circling the building for a longer walk.

“What… was that?!” Heechul lets out an exasperated huff, grabbing his phone to type a message.

Jonghoon, on the other hand, was still wondering. Who was that guy? It’s too dim to make out the features, but he senses that he knows the male. Shaking his head, Jonghoon attempts to remove the mental image of Ryeowook accepting the kiss from the figure.

He could hear Heechul grumbling, furiously punching a button before putting his phone in his ear. He couldn’t make out the words — Heechul speaks too fast — but he doesn’t care.

The budding emotions, the blushes that he tries so hard not to show, even the small gestures that he does. And when he sees him with someone else… why does it hurt? Why does it hurt so bad?

His best friend finishes the call as they make another round, and Jonghoon sees the back entrance of the building. Heechul puts a hand in front of his best friend, making the younger lunge a bit forward. Placing both hands on either shoulder, Heechul twists Jonghoon and makes him face him.

“I almost forgot to tell you,” he starts, taking a deep breath, “Wookie’s seeing Kyuhyun.”

_Well_ , Jonghoon thinks, _shit_.

_Damn with these feelings_.

* * *

When Pilkyo reaches home, he’s welcomed with an infectious laugh to a K-drama playing on the television screen. He chuckles when he spots the Yoon siblings, alongside Sunggyu, Seungkwan, and Seokmin.

“Gyu, you didn’t tell me you have guests!” Pilkyo says as he walks over to the dining area, gingerly placing the bags of food that he, thankfully, bought.

Sunggyu looks up and struggles to stand up, intentionally blocking Bomi’s view before receiving a slap on his leg. He almost loses his balance, but he immediately blocks his fall on the couch.

“Hyesung oppa!” Bomi greets when she spots the eldest Kim. The other Yoon sibling, Yoon Jeonghan, stands up immediately to bow at Pilkyo. Pilkyo waves at the two, before turning back to the dining table to remove takeout jajangmyeon and other goodies in bags.

“Bomi insisted to bring Jeonghan here, just to surprise Seungkwan and Seokmin. I told her about the kids’ dilemmas,” Sunggyu says as he places the plastic utensils on a bundle of tissue, “and she’s quite aware that Jeonghan takes good care of the two well.”

Seungkwan has told Sunggyu that they rarely see their other friends, most especially the ones who have graduated. With two of his foreign hyungs flew back to their home countries, Seungcheol and Jeonghan remained. He admits being closer to the hyungs, jokingly hurting Hansol but Hansol agreed with his best friend.

So, Sunggyu made it happen. Bomi, and her noona skills, convinced her younger brother to stop by the house, “Also, don’t forget to buy housewarming gifts! Even though it’s three months late!”

Pilkyo nods, craning his head to see the four laughing at one scene in Laughter in Waikiki. It’s nice to have someone else occupying the apartment. A break from the usual routines and sounds that he hears whenever his younger cousins are around.

* * *

They crowd the center table and Pilkyo urges the younger ones to dig in. Everyone is eating happily, with Pilkyo asking the Yoon siblings about their lives and Sunggyu attending to the youngers. There were funny anecdotes, some serious advising, and plain casual conversations. It has definitely been a while since Pilkyo hung out with younger people, most especially with his cousins’ friends.

They look at him with high respect, as he has lived quite longer than them. While most of his friends hide their age, Pilkyo is the opposite. He boasts about his age and his crazy experiences. Others view him as ‘every child that parents want’ due to his academic standings, while close acquaintances describe him as ‘that old hag who passes on wisdom as if he’s 50.’

Beyond the merrymaking and random conversations, nobody heard Jonghoon entering the apartment. He made it intentional though, to not be seen or noticed by his cousins and Bomi and Jeonghan. He doesn’t need the attention on him.

He closes the door rather a bit too loud, and Sunggyu guesses that his older brother has arrived. Usually, Jonghoon’s voice would bellow and everyone would be excited about his presence. Sunggyu sensed that something is wrong.

He excuses himself before walking to the bedroom door, slightly opening it to see his brother sprawled on the bed.

“What’s up?” Sunggyu asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Jonghoon’s eyes fly at him, “Ryeong’s dating Kyuhyun.” And then he sighs sadly.

He saw it coming. Myungsoo was also right. _Of course, he’s right,_ Sunggyu’s inner mind says mockingly, _he’s Ryeowook hyung’s brother!_

Sunggyu always likes to guess about his older brother’s relationship status. He’s definitely single, but his eyes look only at one person. With loads of we’re just friends bullshit being thrown at him, he knows that Jonghoon feels more than just that platonic affections.

“You like him,” Sunggyu informs his brother and he felt his brother jolting up.

“No, I don’t,” Jonghoon counters, his eyes boring at his younger brother’s figure.

The younger Kim doesn’t need any more convincing. His brother is definitely head over heels for Kim Ryeowook.

“ _Yes_ , you do. And you’re just lying to me because you’re unsure of your feelings,” Sunggyu counters back, and he smiles — grins — when he watches his brother contort in a scrunched face.

He feels a small _bump_ when Jonghoon lies back down, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. “I really thought we had a thing,” Jonghoon mutters.

Sunggyu snorts, “Hyung, Wookie hyung’s friendly to basically everyone. You’re not the only exception.”

Jonghoon deeply sighs. He was mistaken. He was really, really, really mistaken. But what about those secret codes? The body language that he swears he doesn’t show anyone else but to him? Their personalized nicknames for each other?

The older Kim is so confused, and he feels the emotions threatening to explode. He feels it and confirms that he does like Kim Ryeowook.

_Ugh, why do I need to witness a kiss just to confirm my feelings?!_ He yells in his mind space.

Sunggyu watches in amusement when his brother clutches onto his own face, visibly confused with the rush of emotions filling his system. Later, when everyone’s asleep, he knows that they’ll have that conversation again. And it would him better. And it would also make Jonghoon better.

The younger Kim knows him like the back of his hand, but he’s not yet ready to let his older brother know about his struggles. Most especially with a certain someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler chapters are fun to write about bc you get to see the chaos and individual feelings of the cousins in their everyday lives 🤣 i also don't know how school works in korea so everything is based on my own country 😔🤘
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed the update! see you on the next!  
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols (stan) / @codenametitanic (writing)


	9. Stiction

When Yoongi heard the plans for Seungkwan's adaptation of Epiphany, he summoned Seokmin to his humble studio in Gangnam. The younger didn't expect the VIP treatment given to him after telling the receptionist that he was Seokjin's cousin. The older handed him down the play's original tracks, "Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

In the classroom, Seokmin hums as he listens to the original scores. While the originals have a dramatic flair, the remade ones were catchier. Bobbing his head to the remade ‘Begin’, someone took a seat on his left him and plucked the earphone from Seokmin, securing it on his left ear while sitting down.

Seokmin looks at his side, smiling when he sees the figure also humming the tune, “Do you think this is better than the original, Soonyoung hyung?”

Kwon Soonyoung has been around Seokmin ever since he transferred to the school. While Seungkwan wasn’t around to tour him around, Soonyoung came into the picture — volunteering to show him the foreign environment. Eventually, they became best of friends, bonding over harmless pranks and skits that make their mutual friends giggle.

Soonyoung's eyes flit from one place to another. “This could give the play an extra kick, but it’ll still depend on the others if they could play this live or by track,” he replies, crossing his arms.

“We should ask Jihoon hyung then?” Seokmin removes his earphone, spinning it on his fingers.

Soonyoung juts his lips, nodding slowly. “He might figure it out,” he assures. Their teacher arrives and Soonyoung removes the earphone, whispering a ‘talk to you later’ before rushing to his seat at the back of the classroom.

Seokmin already couldn't wait.

* * *

They managed to corner Jihoon in the music room, asking for his opinions for the songs that Yoongi provided. Most of the songs can be easily played by the piano and violin, but some fit being played as a track. In the end, they decided to hand over their suggestions to the drama club.

“We could’ve asked Jungkook. He’s more passionate about these,” Soonyoung says as they exit the music room.

"He's probably busy," Seokmin puts his hands in the pockets of his school slacks, “Seungkwan told me Daehwi is planning to give the lead role to him.”

Soonyoung nods knowingly, “Jungkook probably knows the play more than anyone else." He chuckles as a thought dawn on him, "He's probably too passionate so Daehwi took him.”

The two of them smile and continued to walk in silence. Seniors have fewer study loads for the semester; hence the hallways have been vacant and no noise could be heard. The school also strategically placed the seniors on the far left of the floor, which explains less to no lowerclassmen loitering in these parts.

It's fun to have someone who shares the same interests as you, Seokmin realizes as they make a turn. Back in his former school, friends surround the new Kim but never found the one that matches him. He has been going with the flow, fitting into the typical high school environment. Enter Soonyoung, and Seokmin's outlook on life has drastically changed.

They were a few steps away from their classroom when Soonyoung asks him. “Are you free after classes?”

Seokmin tries to recall his plans later in the day, “I have to talk to Seokjin hyung about our revised ideas for the songs. Since he delegated me as his ‘liaison officer’.” He air quotes, earning chuckles from his best friend.

Visible changes have been evident in Soonyoung since the previous year. Nice gestures, study session accompaniments, and increasing food treats. Eyes catching the tinge of red on Soonyoung's cheeks whenever the younger is in close proximity, clumsy actions whenever the younger approaches him. There was even a time Soonyoung staggered backward when Seokmin came walking along the hallway. Seokmin usually shrugs it off, thinking it's because they're about to graduate, so it's the last time to create memories and make up for the mistakes in the past.

But it feels... different.

Seokmin watches as Soonyoung bites his lip, hesitating to speak. He speaks anyway, “Can I join you though? Since we’re in the same club and I also have the right to know.” He covers the stutter, but Seokmin catches it.

While it’s true that Soonyoung is one of the officers in the music club, Seokmin was given the task to overlook the music for the play. He’s honored but he still wants the decision of the officers before he makes the final decision.

Seokmin nods. He needs support from one of the officers when it comes to a play that is important to his cousin.

* * *

Classes end and Seungkwan apologizes to Seokmin, “Daehwi decides to have the first script reading today! Jin hyung approved the changes and he might have given Daehwi a heart attack when he said that he's going to watch.”

So, he lets his stepbrother run to the club's room and walk to the school’s gates. Soonyoung made him wait, as he has some ‘stuff’ to settle in the music room.

Students rush to leave the school gates, some for cram school, and some for other things. Mingyu and Minghao spotted him, having a decent conversation about their SAT preparations.

“I’m almost done with my coverage. Wonwoo hyung has been giving me practice sets from his cram school,” Mingyu nonchalantly explains, fiddling with the straps of his bag.

“And what do you give in return then?” Minghao crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. A smirk then travels to his lips, and Seokmin knew what he was talking about.

Mingyu hits his best friend annoyingly, “God, stop giving double-meanings Hao!” Their friend group is obviously well-aware of the couple’s private life, even though they don’t talk about it a lot.

Soonyoung appears at the gates, waving at the trio as he approaches them. “Wait, you’re going to take the SATs too, Hao?!” the older of the four asks excitedly. Minghao nods, “My parents decided to put me here for a few more years. Told Junhui hyung about it and he’s pretty jealous.”

Junhui flew back to China after he graduated high school, his parents wanting him to finish in his home country. He promised to come back though, mostly for Minghao.

“As long as I don’t go anywhere, he’s coming back,” Minghao says and the three gives a knowing smile. They have been the strongest and chilliest couple in their group of friends, with Mingyu even asking for relationship advice from the two.

Mingyu received a call from Wonwoo, signaling him to part ways with his friends, with Minghao hollering some innuendos that Seokmin wonders where he got it from. Seokmin and Soonyoung walked in silence, approaching the nearest bus stop that would take them to the City Jungle.

Seokmin feels Soonyoung’s hand swaying against his, and he didn’t mind, although he felt like the older was trying to do something. He let his mind drift off to other things, like the remaining SAT coverage, the play, his Korean history homework —

A warm hand wrap around his and Seokmin hitches his breath. Heart racing so fast and warmth spreads on his cheeks. Looking at Soonyoung’s direction, Seokmin notes the reddening tips of the older’s ears, trying not to act like holding hands is a big deal.

They reach the bus stop, hands still entwined with each other. Soonyoung looked fine. And Seokmin should also, but he couldn’t get his heart to calm down.

* * *

Soonyoung’s hand is soft but sturdy.

Probably because he writes too much, or he plays the piano for too long. Soonyoung has told Seokmin about his plans to be a musician, but his parents were skeptical about his career choice.

“You’re going to be the best pianist out there, hyung,” Seokmin assures him one night. The two of them couldn’t sleep after they mapped out their college plans.

He remembers the soft sigh escaping from the older’s lips, ricocheting in the four walls of his room despite being on the phone, “You’re going to watch my first recital, right?”

Seokmin remembers his answer. He’s going to be there, of course.

They alighted the bus holding hands, and they left the vehicle still holding hands. Neither of them wants to let go, as Seokmin finds his best friend’s hand warm and comforting. It burns, much thanks to his heart still beating fast, but managed to balance it out with the cold early October wind.

It was a quiet ascent to Seokmin’s apartment. He already told his cousins that he has company and informed his Seokjin hyung that he's going to discuss with him the ideas.

The elevator stops on the 30th floor. Seokmin hears the audible gasps escaping from Soonyoung. He forgot that Jeonghan was the first (and, so far, only) friend who got into the apartment. While traveling through the hallway, Seokmin explains that their eldest cousin was the one who was gifted with this.

“I feel like I don’t belong here,” Soonyoung wheezes, only managing to let go when Seokmin fumbles to input the code. The warmness subsided, and Seokmin tries not to show disappointment. A sigh escapes from his lips, scrolling through his phone to look for the house code before punching in the numbers.

Nobody is at home yet, as Seokmin looks around once the orange lights turn on. “Make yourself comfortable hyung. I’ll just change into my clothes,” Seokmin manages to speak despite the longingness to hold the older’s hand. Soonyoung nods and makes a beeline to the couches.

When the bedroom door closes, Seokmin lets out a shaky breath. His hand, which touched Soonyoung’s, came into his view. He’s happy and confused and sad while staring. Indescribable emotions enter him, taking over his senses while pulling fresh clothes to change into.

He never thought of Soonyoung as someone more than a friend. But with the emotions playing around his system, he’s not so sure anymore.

* * *

When Wonshik arrived at the apartment, Seokmin bombarded him with questions about the play. Yoongi told the younger Kim cousin that Wonshik also helped out in the compositions, setting the vibe of each act.

“Wait, wait— let hyung get changed first!” Wonshik exclaims as he closes the door on Seokmin and the younger skips to the living area. Soonyoung chuckles when his best friend plops down, “Do you guys act like that all the time?”

Seokmin shakes his head, “Unless we need to.”

Seokmin never told anyone about the cousins to the others. He often lets Seungkwan do all the talking. While he could explain the dynamics in his own words, he feels like he might give a bad impression of his step-cousins to the others. A few months later and progress has been made, but he still couldn't describe them well. It's difficult to transcribe the belongingness he's feeling around his new family.

“You never told me about your cousins,” Soonyoung starts. Seokmin dreads that the topic came by so fast.

“You’ve met them,” Seokmin says, eyes still trained on the television screen.

“I mean your other cousins. Were you also this close to them?” Soonyoung prods and he’s not afraid to do that. Seokmin learned it the hard way when the older kept on bugging him about where he came from. They just met during those times and Soonyoung was already thirsty for information.

Seokmin then explains his side of the family. How he still keeps in touch with his mother's relatives, how his father's relatives took great care of him when his mom passes away. Aunts have been urging Seokmin's father to remarry, telling him that Seokmin needs to have a mother-figure growing up. His paternal cousins have been dying to meet Seungkwan ever since Seokmin mentioned him once.

His maternal cousins are a different story. Seokmin grew up with them, but after his mom died, their relationship strained. Despite missing a direct link, he describes them as chill and doesn’t usually like to keep in touch often. After his father's remarriage, his cousins started to reach out again. Promised to stick around longer, since they're still linked by blood.

It was a culture shock to him when his step-cousins came into the picture. Pilkyo literally barged into his life, opening his room's door and asking too many questions about his interests and hobbies. Slowly, he was taken under his wing. In a span of two months, he was introduced to different people by his step-cousins and those people openly accepted him as family.

“Do you think you’ll be able to introduce Seungkwan to your mom’s side?” Soonyoung asks out of the blue.

Seokmin ponders on it. He hasn’t thought about that, probably because Seungkwan has no relations with his biological mom’s family. His dad doesn’t look like he would be presenting Seungkwan to his deceased wife’s family as well.

He subsequently shakes his head, “Probably not now. Although some of my cousins want to meet him.”

“Then you should introduce him,” Soonyoung answers confidently, shifting his position towards Seokmin’s direction and Seokmin notices how dangerously close he is to his best friend, “Seungkwan is amazing. And I’m sure that they’ll be delighted to meet him. Nobody cares if he’s from a different family. I'm sure he'll get along pretty well with them.”

One of the reasons why Seokmin is drawn to Kwon Soonyoung is that he’s sure. He’s sure of his decisions and he stands for what he believes in. There’s no doubt that Jihoon got a lot from his cousin.

Seokmin smiles and thanks his best friend for his advice. He watches Soonyoung reach out his hand — Seokmin aches for the warmth from his hand — only to pat his thigh and revert his attention back to the show.

The younger Kim chuckles softly before turning back to the show. Wonshik then walks out of the room and gets himself comfortable before Seokmin launches into a bunch of questions about the songs.

Seokjin arrived a few hours later and he thanks Soonyoung for waiting. “No problem hyung! All for the play,” Soonyoung assures him, and Seokmin knows how dedicated his best friend is in terms of working on a project.

* * *

Soonyoung wasn’t planning to stay there for a little longer, given that Jihoon is waiting in their dorms for dinner. But Seokmin messaged his best friend’s cousin, and Soonyoung earned approval from his cousin. “He’s also on a date with Cheol hyung, so you have nothing to worry about,” Seokmin adds and the two of them chuckle.

They had a hearty and boisterous dinner, with Pilkyo sharing his suit fitting adventures and Jonghoon finally speaking after a long period of silence (read: 2 days). Seokmin made sure that his best friend feels at home, and sure enough, Soonyoung was sharing funny anecdotes about his life as well.

Before Soonyoung leaves, Seokjin handed them the script that he received from the drama club. “I already wrote instructions and suggestions there, so you guys could follow along. I’ll try to drop by so I could hear it,” Seokjin says and the two beamed, tackling the 4th Kim into a hug.

Seokmin accompanied Soonyoung to the lobby. The building complex is huge enough to make a person get lost. "Trust me hyung, when me and Seungkwan first came back here alone, we got off the wrong elevator and floor," Seokmin insisted when they were descending.

They reached the lobby and Seokmin starts to speak, “Thanks for accompanying me today." Soonyoung then faces him, smiling ever so brightly that his pupils disappear, “No problem. I told you that I’m there as the club’s secretary as well.”

Seokmin chuckles and he again notices the sudden change in the atmosphere. He notes the fidgeting in his best friend’s fingers, as well as his heart beating irregularly again. And when he blinked, he sees his best friend leaning forward and—

A small peck on his lips.

Within a small period of time, Soonyoung gave him the fireflies and the fireworks ringing in his ears. It was a weird sensation.

Seokmin blinks several times before he gets to process what has happened. He sees Soonyoung smiling again, his cheeks tinting a light shade of red.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Soonyoung stutters. Seokmin nods almost robotically before he sees Soonyoung leaving the establishment. He waves and Seokmin finds himself waving back.

There are two times that left Lee Seokmin speechless:

One was when his mother passed away.

The second was when he earned a new brother.

And now, it was when he realizes that his best friend likes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in terms of chapter p.o.v's, this is my favorite. i enjoyed writing seokmin's part! it's a ~young, innocent~ love vibe that i threw in bc that's how i look at seoksoon >///<
> 
> anw, see you guys on my next update!  
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols (stan) / @codenametitanic (writing)


	10. Confront

The class hall is packed with students today. Students came streaming in from the main door, unfamiliar faces taking the front seats. Seokjin always attended broadcasting media class and well aware of how few seats would be taken most of the time.

Someone rushes to sit beside him — he’s seated at the farther end of the hall, a few rows away from the board — and sits down rather sloppily. “Yah, I can’t believe Taekwoon hyung and Hakyeon hyung are dating!”

Seokjin glances at his seatmate lazily, “They just managed to tell it now, huh?”

“I’m so frustrated! I thought me and Taekwoon had a thing! I can’t believe I— what do you mean they just managed to tell it now?”

Even though he senses the anger fuming in his voice and his eyes, Seokjin still grinned at his seatmate/best friend’s actions. It’s wrong but he couldn’t help reaching out to pat the top of his seatmate’s head. “Yah Kim Seokjin, tell me something I don’t know.”

“Wonshik told me the two are dating even before uni started,” Seokjin answers as he leans back comfortably in his seat, “It’s not that much of a surprise now, Jaehwannie. Although I do feel bad that you thought there was something between you and Taekwoon hyung.”

Jaehwan slumps, resting his head on the table, “I can’t believe I flirted with him. I thought I had a chance! And then —”

“And then Hakyeon hyung came out of nowhere and tell everyone they’re dating,” Seokjin interrupts, looking at his seatmate’s direction, “They were planning to tell it to you back in the house party, but Taekwoon hyung didn’t show up.”

Jaehwan sighs, “He’s not into those things. And he doesn’t like stuffy house parties.”

“That party sure was stuffy,” Seokjin comments, and the two of them laugh.

Seokjin found his best friend in the form of Lee Jaehwan, one of Wonshik’s friends as well. Having the same age was a bonus, as they learned about it while playing a round of Mario Kart in his parents’ home. Jaehwan is the crazier version of Seokjin — he’s loud around people, he dances weirdly in parties, he tends to act like an old woman out of nowhere. Seokjin’s glad that he’s more tamed but still brings out his extroversion.

The professor arrives and a few more students rush inside. Seokjin’s eyes widen when he sees a familiar figure with a girl towing behind him. He blinks several times before the two settle a row away from him and Jaehwan. He absentmindedly nudges on Jaehwan and the latter nods knowingly.

“Oh, that’s Namjoon’s new girlfriend,” Jaehwan explains, “Didn’t know they go to this class.”

Seokjin stares at the two from behind. He’s aware that his ex-boyfriend found someone new, and good for him. Even though Namjoon didn’t tell him directly, Seokjin is glad that his friends managed to update him about that. And he shouldn’t feel sad. But why is it that when he finally sees it, he felt… lonely? Disappointed? Sad?

The longingness rushed into his system, drowning him with sudden ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s. He shakes his head, removing thoughts that could only hurt him more. The professor’s voice boom into the speakers and his eyes already off from the two figures in front of him.

These thoughts could wait; he has advertisements to study about.

* * *

It started to rain.

And Sunggyu huffs in frustration.

Bad days are nothing for Sunggyu, shrugging them off like they’re no big deal. But today was a different one. Unluckily called on a graded recitation, the phone’s battery drained with no power bank or charger in hand, wallet left in the apartment. And now, he forgot to bring an umbrella.

Not really forgotten, but he intentionally left his umbrella. Because he thought it wasn’t going to rain.

And here he was, standing by the building’s entrance, praying that it would stop.

He has another class in 30 minutes in another building, and the rain wasn’t showing any signs of stopping. Running could be an option, but he can’t get sick — his law admission test is in the following month and the joint Christmas/university fair with SNU preparations is in full swing. And he didn’t know how in the world he landed in the program committee.

“Choi Siwon from the Seoul National University personally asked you to be in our team,” one of the officers from the committee — Choi Minho, as he introduced — told him a few days ago. Siwon could’ve just messaged him, but then again it feels impolite to burst into the room and announce that he’s joining the committee.

Sunggyu was never into those kinds of stuff. He veered away from anything extracurricular, mostly focusing on joining scholastic quizzes and debate competitions. Being a part of the student council and organizing a program was never on his radar.

Until his Siwon hyung came prancing along, throwing flower petals on his head, and he has no choice but to agree.

A flash of lightning followed by a deafening roar of thunder. He couldn’t leave the lobby in this state. With the rain pouring hard and consecutive lightning strikes, he relents, coming into terms that he’s not going anywhere.

The lobby is nearly empty. Sunggyu took this advantage to sit on one of the benches, clearing his mind, and accept that he would really be late. Or even he might not attend the class.

He sighs, fiddling with the corner of his textbook that was sitting quietly on his lap. How in the world did he forget to charge his phone, review his notes, and scour the apartment for his wallet?

Fuck, he thinks as he bows down, his forehead hitting the textbook, I’m distracted again, am I?

Last night was a whirlwind of emotions. Originally a discussion about Myungsoo's major project for media law, they both got carried away in catching up about their friends and the upcoming university fair.

"Wook hyung told me he'll be helping for the promotions committee," Myungsoo told him over the phone, "You might as well try to talk to him about the fair."

"He's in another committee, but let's see," Sunggyu said as he stared on his bed, playing with his comforter.

They continued to talk that night until Myungsoo stumbled on a topic that probably kept him up all night. “Hyung, did you know that Woohyun hyung likes you back?”

Sunggyu stayed silent, his eyes slowly bulging out of its sockets. How in the world did Myungsoo even know that he likes Woohyun?! He didn’t even tell anyone in their friend group about it!

“Don’t leave me hanging, Gyu hyung,” the younger one lazily said, aware that Sunggyu is speechless, “everyone knows you like him. But we don’t know if he returns the feelings. Apparently, Dongwoo hyung is good in cornering so we got the answer.”

God, Jang Dongwoo, Sunggyu swore in his mind, can you at least leave your best friend's love life alone?! Emotions came pulsing into his veins, his heart running so fast despite not even moving physically. He couldn’t process everything, anything, even something.

Admitting to having a crush on a guy who you think is your best friend is one thing, but learning about your feelings to other people is another.

“It’s obvious, hyung,” Myungsoo continued. Myungsoo and his psyching abilities.

“What do you mean ‘obvious’?” Sunggyu is surprised that he still has his voice. He heard a small sigh over the line.

“You act like a high school kid whenever you guys are together — no, let me finish first, hyung — The two of you act like lovesick high school students who are still debating whether to confess or not!” Myungsoo raised his voice, audibly annoyed by how oblivious his two friends are.

Sunggyu was speechless. Was he really blind, or was he not prepared to let his feelings be known to Nam Woohyun?

After the call, Sunggyu was left in deep thought. Someone broke into his hard and impenetrable emotional state, causing unexplainable sensations to run around his system. Successfully closed it off back in high school, he was surprised how Nam Woohyun effortlessly opened his heart. He’s a stubborn person, concealing them without noticing that it made its way into Sunggyu's personality and behavior.

The thunder clapped again, snapping Sunggyu out of his thoughts. Raindrops are still falling, albeit not that hard. He could probably still get into class. A little drizzle wouldn’t hurt him, right?

He hoists his bag on his shoulder, clutching on the textbooks that he has on his arms. Standing by the entrance of the building, he checks the clouds and the campus. He pulls his hoodie over his head and strides confidently outside of the building.

An umbrella slowly came into his vision, but no one walked beside him. An arm snaked around his waist, causing Sunggyu to hit the stranger with his textbooks.

“Wait, wait, hyung!” a familiar voice catches him off-guard, and he peeks to see familiar crescent-shaped eyes beaming at him.

Sunggyu’s heart leaps forward.

“Jonghoon hyung will kill me if I let you out in this drizzle,” Woohyun mutters as he takes Sunggyu’s side, an arm still wrapped around his waist and an umbrella on another.

Sunggyu was speechless. “Where did you come from?”

Woohyun spares him a glance, “I saw you walking. You forgot your umbrella again, huh?”

The older furrows his eyebrows. He was about to throw a snarky clap back, but he bites his tongue and smiles slightly instead. Their footsteps create a little song while walking on the puddles. "Thank you."

Woohyun looks at him and Sunggyu tries to hide the burning feeling in his cheeks. It could seriously kill a Kim Sunggyu — tender eyes as if he’s his world.

“You’re welcome,” Woohyun softly says and Sunggyu feels like the younger could kiss him right then and there. The thunderclaps again, the raindrops were beginning to fall hard again. They both break into a sprint, laughing and breathing heavily as they take refuge under a gazebo.

Today was, definitely, a bad day. But he doesn't mind it again, just like his usual bad days. As long as Nam Woohyun is there, he doesn't have any bad days.

* * *

The apartment complex is empty, the only sound ricocheting the area was the rain. Wonshik didn't mind it, as he also craves the silence.

Ever since the big move, silence has been a rare gem. While there were spurts of quiet and peace enveloping the apartment, the cousins wanted it longer. They had to suck it up, and accept the fact that the environment will always be noisy.

Wonshik loved these moments, so going home early and being the first one arriving is a luxury. On most days, he studies with noise-canceling headphones on. Today, the raindrops' soft tapping outside becomes his white noise.

Weekdays are mostly reserved for university and studying, so he didn't expect a call from Yoongi. He gruffly answers, "Yes?"

"Were you doing something?" Yoongi's voice echoes.

Wonshik immediately clears his throat, "Uh, no, no. It's fine."

Yoongi then starts to talk about his progress on Seokjin's new play. Wonshik's older brother always asks for Yoongi's help, since he's more experienced in these kinds of things. Even though Seokjin believes that his best friend could do it, Yoongi still turns to Wonshik's advice. He's not a music genius, but the younger has been exposed to musicals and plays and has been keeping touch with most composers.

"I'll let Jin hyung know later after I listen to it," Wonshik says as he puts down his pen, staring at the notes he scribbled, "But then again, Jin hyung would approve of anything you do so I believe this won't get any problems."

He hears Yoongi chuckle, "I still want to put my guard up."

Wonshik hears a short pause before his hyung starts to talk, "Anyway, Namjoon was wondering if you could help him with his multimedia arts project. He's been stuck and I couldn't take it."

The 5th Kim is actually not sure if he should accept the proposal. Kim Namjoon is one of his favorite Seokjin friends, but after the break-up, he didn't reach out again. Not because he's angry for breaking his hyung's heart, but it feels wrong to still be friends with his brother's ex at a time like this. Seokjin still doesn't want to talk about the break-up, indirectly instructing not to mention anything related to his ex before.

"I'll think about it," Wonshik leans back, crossing his other arm across his chest, "but I'll let him know if I'm taking it."

"Wonshik-ah," he hears Yoongi after another pause, breathing in deeply, "You're taking this project as yourself. You don't need Jin hyung's approval. It's been a while since you also got in touch with Joon."

It has been really a while since he and Namjoon talked. His subscribers have been asking him where Namjoon is. They continued to collaborate even after the break-up, but after what Seokjin said to him, he gradually drifted away.

He felt bad, and he realized that Seokjin shouldn't impose that on him. But then again, his brother let that out because of the intense emotions he had experienced during those times.

His eyes lands on a succulent that Seokjin gave him as a birthday present. You need more life in your room, he had said.

"I'll keep that in mind," Wonshik rubs his temple, he didn't really want to put up a fight with Yoongi, "you've been really cranky."

He hears Yoongi scoffs, "Yah. I'm still the same dude—"

"What if we put you up on a date, huh? I know someone," Wonshik teases, leaning forward and his arm resting on his desk.

"Stop with what you're thinking, Kim Wonshik," Yoongi threatens, but the younger knows how to make his friend agree with his shenanigans. It's been a while since Yoongi has dated someone. Sunggyu has told him that Sungjong is single — for a long time.

"But what about him and Yongguk hyung?" Wonshik had asked while folding the new laundry.

Sunggyu shrugged, "Apparently the split happened a few months ago, and he just got the guts to tell that to us."

"Hear me out, Yoong!" Wonshik is already on his feet, pacing back and forth in his room, "It's been a while since you went out with someone else. And just — Min Yoongi, hear me out! — try this one. If it didn't work then I won't set you up again. Ever!"

Silence registered in his ears and Wonshik hoped that the person on the other line was contemplating it.

"If you agreed to help Namjoon, I'll agree to this date. Deal?" Yoongi relents, but there was a tinge of hope in his voice. Wonshik grins triumphantly as he stares back at the succulent resting on his desk.

"Deal."

* * *

Rain has been falling heavily even when evening came. Supposedly their weekly movie night, the cousins retreated in their bedrooms to do their own businesses. Everyone was given an ultimatum to keep quiet since the stepsiblings would be reviewing or else Pilkyo wouldn't push through with their Busan Christmas vacation.

Jonghoon stares at his corkboard, filled with polaroid photos and knick-knacks that he has collected over the years. It was a struggle to stick the board into the wall, as it was originally stationed in his old bedroom; fortunately, he was able to assemble it properly — without the help of his spiteful eldest cousin.

The bedroom is empty. Sunggyu decided to work in the dining area. Pilkyo lazily flipped through his labor law reviewers. It's nice to have the room all to Jonghoon, but his thoughts weren't having it.

He was hurt that Ryeowook didn't tell him about his budding relationship with Kyuhyun. Fortunately, he wasn't the only one who was late in the news. Jungsoo was surprised as well, as he knows that Kyuhyun has his eyes on Sungmin. The latter has been all over KU and is in a serious relationship with his girlfriend.

Kyuhyun probably had given up on him.

Jonghoon sighs as he puts his head on his crossed arms. The revelation has been screwing him over. Worse, Ryeowook hasn't told him about it.

I thought we were best friends, Jonghoon thinks as he hides his face in his hands.

A small knock was heard and Jonghoon whips around to see Seokjin peeking. The 2nd Kim gestures him to enter, Seokjin settling on his bed with a notebook and a biology textbook in his arms.

"I was wondering if you could help me with this," Seokjin asks as he points on a title that, luckily, Jonghoon is familiar with, "I know I should do my own research but I couldn't understand it."

Jonghoon nods and takes the textbook in his hands, confidently explaining to him about the subject. The 2nd Kim is quite surprised with himself, as he still managed to let out all of the information. He made it easy for Seokjin to understand as well.

When the 4th Kim finally understood the topic, he thanks his Jonghoon hyung. "Can I stay here for a while though? Just in case if I, you know, have any more questions?" Seokjin asks cautiously. Seeing that papers and books are scattered on Jonghoon's desk, he might have been disturbing his older cousin.

Jonghoon agrees and he's glad that someone would accompany him in the room.

They shared a few minutes of silence, pen scratching on paper and pages softly flipping. The silence should help him calm down, but he's been so consumed with thoughts and realizations that he just had to let it all out.

Because of their hectic schedules, Jonghoon and Seokjin didn't have the luxury to follow-up their dates. The last time they were alone was before Seokjin started college. A lot of things have definitely happened and Jonghoon felt bad for not checking up on him often.

"Hey, uh, Jin-ah," Jonghoon calls out. He hears Seokjin hum in response, urging him to answer despite doing something in his hands.

The rain continues to create its song outside. Jonghoon thanks Mother Nature for making up his mind.

"What time's your first class tomorrow?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *yeets my laptop* i hope everyone is okay! i'm still working on chapter 12 and i got into stumbling block- anyway enjoy this new update!
> 
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols / @codenametitanic


	11. Reconnection

They stand together, staring at the menu overhead. This particular café, a few blocks away from Hanyang, has piqued Seokjin's interest after hearing how good their food is. It's hitting two birds with one stone for Seokjin: trying out the café and catching up with the 2nd Kim.

It has been a while since Jonghoon visited any of his cousins on their respective campuses. The only time he leaves SNU is when his friends ask them to go to another university for their picnic. Jungsoo complained that planners should give KU or Yonsei a chance. Because of that, Jonghoon gets to travel longer once in a month.

Hanyang is different, albeit a few minutes away from Yonsei. Wonshik is at an advantage, which Jonghoon believes. Sunggyu mentioned that he stops by at Hanyang whenever he feels like it and the stepsiblings love the university's environment when their school had a campus tour. Jonghoon feels bad, but at least this date would give him an opportunity to visit the 4th Kim's alma mater.

"What do you want?" the elder's eyes still trained on the menu, flitting between the sandwiches and pasta sections.

He feels Seokjin moving his shoulders, shrugging almost, "Whatever you're getting."

Jonghoon squints at his direction, "You sure?"

"Look hyung," Seokjin faces his cousin, "I'm not really _that_ hungry since Pilkyo hyung made us eat a lot for breakfast. So I'm good with whatever you're getting."

Breakfast was, surprisingly, a feast. An array of side dishes and Pilkyo's signature breakfast kimbap had dominated the tables. Pilkyo urged the younger ones to take them for lunch, telling them to pack extras for their friends. The eldest Kim's cooking is their favorite; it's the closest thing they have to home.

Jonghoon's lips escaping a soft sigh. Pushing Seokjin playfully to find them a seat, the older walked over to the cashier to place his order — two BLTs, one iced Americano, and one hot chocolate. A cup of hot chocolate is appropriate in this October winds, which signals the coming of winter.

The younger Kim mentioned that the café became a hotspot for students, thanks to its cozy ambiance and decorative plants. The walls painted a brown color, with wooden furnishings displayed around. Jonghoon expected people filling up the establishment, only to be surprised that a handful have taken their seats around. It makes sense since the café had only opened for a few minutes.

The cashier hands him the pager and his receipt. He cranes his head to look for his younger cousin; his eyes landing when he spots him seated by the windows. The younger one looks calm, even though he has a hectic schedule of projects and part-time work, but he knows that something is still bothering him.

* * *

Despite not talking for a long time, the conversations flowed out naturally. As if no gap had occurred between them. They were under the same roof, but Jonghoon blames their schedules. He never gets to catch Seokjin available and when Seokjin approaches him, his nose was buried in between readings.

They talk about college, Seokjin's upcoming play, and a part-time job at Bighit. The familiarity lingered in the atmosphere. Jonghoon enjoyed it. He notes the changes in Seokjin's behavior — much more reserved but still full of chatter. The younger then was able to share stories in his own accord.

In the middle of their conversation on Jonghoon's classes, the pager buzzes, and Seokjin insisted to get the order. When Seokjin arrives with the tray, he hands over the drinks, hissing when he touches Jonghoon's cup. "Sorry," Jonghoon sheepishly says, "I had hot chocolate."

He notices Seokjin raising his eyebrows, "Didn't know you're into that now, hyung."

Jonghoon then explains about his changing tastes, mostly due to study habits and slowly outgrowing caffeine. It surprised the 2nd Kim that he doesn't get sleepy with hot chocolate, a weird characteristic he picked up while staring at a Family and Community Medicine textbook last semester.

"Well, that's possible. I remember hating salads but when Hoseok made me feed his, I became _obsessed_ with it," Seokjin says and they both laugh. Jonghoon is aware that Seokjin could eat anything except 'raw' vegetables. He had to thank Hoseok for converting the salad-hater.

They shared a few minutes of silence, biting into the sandwich and hearing the lettuce crunch in every chew. Jonghoon would stop, sip in his drink, and pipe up a remark or thought flying in his mind space. Seokjin would nod, share his own thoughts, and return it with a bizarre thought that Jonghoon swears it leaves him speechless.

"There must be another reason why we're here together, hyung," Seokjin points out as he puts down his cup. Jonghoon could feel the younger's eyes on him, observing the slight changes in his behavior. The main reason why he convinced Seokjin to this date had temporarily left his system, only returning when Seokjin brought it up.

"Also," the younger adds, snapping Jonghoon in his increasing thoughts, "I noticed you keep on mentioning a certain name. Never heard of him before."

This should be the cue then. "Jin-ah," the older starts, his voice growing quieter, "what would you do if someone you like is with someone else?"

He watches how Seokjin shifts in his seat, seemingly in deep thought. Is he thinking about how to approach the question? Is he wondering how he would be honest about his feelings?

A small, inaudible sigh escapes. "I'll just, I don't know, let them be?" it was an answer hidden in a questioning tone. Jonghoon knows that the younger is still not okay with what happened a few months back. Actually, throughout their conversations, Seokjin only mentioned five or six of his friends. Namjoon looked like he gradually faded in Seokjin's circle.

"If he's not a friend," Seokjin continues, "then I have no right to meddle. Like, I like him — but he doesn't know I exist so why bother."

"But," Jonghoon watches how the younger's eyes were trained on the plate, contemplating whether to let his thoughts out, "if he's a friend, then I have to pretend that everything okay."

This was probably the closest thing that Jonghoon has seen Seokjin in his raw emotions. Seokjin wasn't the type of person to be _this_ sad. A pocketful of sunshine, an outgoing, typical extrovert. The break-up had taken its toll on Seokjin's being — acting like everything's okay when the internal turmoil has been eating him alive.

Jonghoon nods and the 4th Kim asks again, shifting on his seat. "Is it because of the new name I heard? Kim Ryeowook?"

Without another word, Jonghoon spills him the details about his best friend. About where he came from, his likes and dislikes, how he brought him to his circle of friends, and what Heechul & Hyukjae think about the guy. He tells him about the moments that he couldn't forget and how he believed that there's something going on _beyond_ this friendship.

Seokjin listens to him. Digesting each word and picturing the scenes being described to him. Jonghoon notes the smiles, the occasional sipping, the knowing nods. It seemed like he understands.

Ending the whole monologue with a rephrasing of the same question, Jonghoon looks at the younger. His eyes might have read desperation because he's _desperate_ on what to do. He's angry, disappointed, sad even, that someone had beat him to it. That kiss that he saw was the turning point. And he's frustrated at how that particular gesture made him realize his growing affections towards the younger.

_I'm hopeless_ , Jonghoon thinks as he leans back, slumps down.

A few minutes and an excruciatingly long silence later, the younger speaks up. "That's kind of hard."

_It is,_ Jonghoon drawls in his mind.

"But first, come into terms hyung with your feelings. Like, _admit_ to yourself that you like him. Then try to observe how you really feel around him. If you're a daredevil — which I know you are — and if you're ready, tell him what you feel. Be ready for the rejection, cry over it, and let it take over your life for a short while. Then move on. Support him and Kyuhyun hyung, or whoever he's with. Even before all of this happened, you were his best friend first," Seokjin says.

He continues, "Sooner or later, your feelings will fade. You'll be okay, hyung."

Jonghoon thinks about that for a second. He could just hide the growing, almost permanent, feelings but it would definitely get much worse. The advice was too direct in Jonghoon's liking, the least he could do was to modify it to suit him. He tries to examine every move that Ryeowook has given him — was it really because he was friendly, just like what Sunggyu said? But he thinks about the times most gestures were personal — the coffee runs, the late-night conversations, their alone time. Those were more common and the feelings _continued_ to blossom in his heart.

Should he just go for it?

He sees Seokjin look at his watch. Picking up his bag hanging underneath the table, he stands up and looks at his cousin with a small smile. "You have all the time to think it through, hyung. Now, let's go to campus. I know you're excited."

The 2nd Kim chuckles as he grabs his bag and slings an arm around Seokjin's shoulders.

Time won't run out. And Jonghoon has all the time that he needs. But he does need a bit of courage.

* * *

Before sending Seokjin inside of his building, Jonghoon eggs the younger to visit SNU when he's not busy. It's been a while since Jonghoon saw someone regarded as filial other than his friends.

"How about later, hyung? My classes end around 5. We could have dinner together," Seokjin says as they both stop in front of the entrance. Jonghoon nods, clinging onto the straps of his bag pack. Never in the 2nd Kim's entire life that he would ask a cousin to stop by in his university. They would just visit him out of nowhere.

Jonghoon was about to let him go when he spots, in his peripheral vision, a familiar figure walking out of the building. His head turns to look at the figure, eyes widening when he makes out the face. How long has it been since he last saw Namjoon?

The 4th Kim imitates his moves, a visible stiffening on his shoulders when he sees him. Namjoon was talking to someone, a girl almost the same height as him, and looked like he's been laidback. There was something different from the older, probably the stature? His face? The new shirt that Jonghoon has never seen in his entire life?

The male faces their directions so suddenly, stopping in his tracks when he sees the cousins. Namjoon doesn't hesitate to wave, so does Jonghoon, but the latter notices how stiff his cousin is. The figure walks away, a visible disappointment contorting on his face, his hand holding onto the girl's.

"Namjoon changed," Jonghoon finds himself saying when the two were gone, his eyes still on them.

Seokjin nods sadly, "His new girlfriend has been taking good care of him well."

Something in Seokjin's voice sounded like he's broken. The sad, lifeless Kim Seokjin that he encountered earlier in the café came out again. Seeing the younger shattered made Jonghoon downcast. Where has he been when the younger is struggling to come into his own terms?

He wraps one arm around the younger again, rubbing his shoulder. "I told you my dilemma about Ryeowook. You have to tell me about what's bothering you."

And while he expected a playful push, he feels a pair of arms hugging his torso. The wetness seeps into his clothes. Seokjin's shoulders move, his wails reaching Jonghoon's ears.

His heart breaks. The confession could wait. He has someone to tend to.

* * *

The 4th-floor hallways have been quiet but Jonghoon's watch indicates that classes are about to end. He's early for his Neuroscience class. Ryeowook would also be there, a vacant seat beside him whenever he reaches the class hall early. For today, he'll be the one to save him a seat.

A few steps away from the door, the lecturer's voice is loud and clear. A few seconds of silence, then the voice booms again. The walls are thick enough and look like it'll be impenetrable of sound, but it doesn't — as proven by the loud voice.

Footsteps approach his place. Students with the same class as him and unfamiliar ones begin to flood his vision. Some waved, others huddled in circles. He sees a bit of hazel brown hair, breaking into a wide grin when he meets the other's eye.

"You're early," the voice is too familiar in Jonghoon's ears.

"Early head start. Went to Hanyang for lunch," Jonghoon leans his back against the wall, smiling triumphantly at his accomplishment.

"No wonder I didn't see you around," Ryeowook pouts, a view that Jonghoon could categorize as 'cute'. Whenever the younger breaks into an unconscious facial expression, Jonghoon's heart would leap. Almost in a mini-tachycardia.

The younger pats down his pants, feeling an object in the depths of his pockets. The 2nd Kim observes how the younger pulls it out, his expression beaming with excitement. It's a silver band, glistening underneath the fluorescent lights.

"Kyu gave it to me," Ryeowook boasts, and Jonghoon crumbles. He should've seen that coming.

Being a good friend that he is, he snatches the ring to take a closer look. It's simple, in contrast to Ryeowook's uncanny interest in shiny things, with no engravings found on the surface.

"That's nice," he simply says as he returns it gingerly. He watches how Ryeowook slides it on his finger, flaunting his hand in front of Jonghoon's face.

"Pretty, right?" Ryeowook says. Jonghoon suppresses to scoff; he knows that Ryeowook isn't a big fan of common designs. Maybe he changed his likes but he knows him better.

The previous class disperses from the hallway and Jonghoon puts a protective arm over Ryeowook. The sudden wave of students forces them to move along the currents. Jonghoon dislikes changing classes, as everyone is scurrying to leave and enter the hall.

He lets the wave die down before he tugs on Ryeowook's... wrist? Arm? Finger? Whatever it is, he didn't bother to look as he scurries to enter, a few seats still vacant. Jonghoon slithers around, making his way to the seats a few rows away from the front. Rushing over before someone takes it, he sits down and motions the younger to sit on the free seat.

The lecturer is nowhere to be seen, maybe resting her voice for their class. Nonetheless, the hall is packed with students buzzing and chattering. Jonghoon picks up a conversation about their homework or that one exam bearing the heaviest grade. A typical med student concern.

Jonghoon sighs. Besides the curricular ones, he still has a pending song to practice for his collaboration with Wonshik. He also needs to finish the draft of his editorial, as well as polish his contributory article. A lot of things on his plate and he still has the guts to wonder about this raging affections to a certain Kim Ryeowook.

He could just tell it to him straight. Ryeowook likes everything direct. He doesn't like beating around the bush. At the same time, Jonghoon is scared that he might push the younger away from him. The directness of his confession might find it repulsive to Ryeowook. He had to prepare himself first before he confesses.

When the lecturer arrives, a water bottle underneath her arms, she begins the class almost immediately. Jonghoon tries his best to catch up with the lesson, but his thoughts have been bugging him. His heart may sound calm but his thoughts are sending unhelpful signals. _Kim Ryeowook's beside you! You have to act fast! They haven't even_ really _dated so grab this opportunity!_

When did his brain act like Heechul?!

He focuses his attention on the powerpoint presentation, but he was unconsciously forming a plan on how to confess. To shift back his focus, Jonghoon tries to gently calm his thoughts down — and when it becomes too severe, he pinches his arms. Which is a bit harsh.

An hour and 30 minutes (and an internal struggle to understand the new lesson), the class ends and the students file out of the hallway. Jonghoon waits for the initial wave to end before dragging Ryeowook to the outside. It was silent when they leave the hall, as Jonghoon usually tries to compose himself and let the discussion sink into his brain cells. But he was surprised when he sees Kyuhyun waiting in the floor's lobby.

Ryeowook breaks into a sprint and tackles Kyuhyun, enveloping the younger into a bear hug. Jonghoon chuckles but stands awkwardly, watching as the scene unfolds fully in his sight. He has the urge to look away, but he remained strong. The thoughts continue to swirl in his mind space, _Now's the chance!_

What...?

He was staring blankly when he finally feels Ryeowook tugging on his sleeves. Blinking several times and Kyuhyun chuckling at his hyung's behavior, Jonghoon finally paid attention to them. Ryeowook squints at him, "Ah... You're spacing out again, hyung!"

"No I wasn't, I was just thinking about something," Jonghoon quickly dismisses. _Fuck_ , he thinks as he mentally slaps himself, _stop being so obvious!_

Kyuhyun nods before the older notices his action — wrapping one arm around Ryeowook's waist — and Jonghoon could just full-on breakdown in the lobby. But he stops and exhales rather forcefully.

"I was saying that Kyuhyun might tag along on our usual dinner. Is... that okay with you hyung?" Ryeowook drawls.

Jonghoon was about to agree when he forgot that he promised Seokjin later that evening for dinner. He's narrowly saved!

"Oh, uh," Jonghoon stutters, pretending to feel bad about not joining them, "Seokjin's dropping by after the last class. Sorry about that."

He thanks the Heavens for saving his ass over a dragging date with his best friend/crush and his other friend/best friend's date.

Ryeowook's face contorts into a frown but Kyuhyun's quick to comfort the younger. Ryeowook relents and the three of them walk to the next class. Jonghoon tries to focus on his walking, ignoring the excessive PDA exuded by the two. He groans, partially because he's annoyed and mostly because it's his common 'best friend move'. Kyuhyun playfully pushed him, with Jonghoon complaining "We're on a staircase!"

They reach the next hall and Jonghoon watches how (disgustingly) cute Ryeowook is. He speaks in a baby voice, pleading that Kyuhyun should wait for him. The youngest of the three returns the same behavior, with him declining since he had to do other stuff.

Jonghoon snorts a bit too loudly. He chuckles when Ryeowook sent him a glare.

After a few more begging and cutesy moves, Kyuhyun reluctantly pulls out of Ryeowook's hold. "I'll text you later!" the youngest says as he walks away, Ryeowook waving sadly at the male.

Jonghoon crosses his arms after watching the entire scene unfold, "Didn't know you're sickeningly pathetic around Kyuhyun."

Ryeowook squints at him, "You're just jealous because I have a boyfriend."

_Yes I am, Ryeong_ , Jonghoon thinks when the younger turns his back on him _, I'm jealous because you're with Kyuhyun. When it should've been me._

* * *

Seokjin is already waiting outside of the building when Jonghoon spots him. The older breaks into a sprint and engulfs the younger in a hug, "You came, you came, you came!"

"Yah, so you could stop acting like a baby!" Seokjin scoffs but he's genuinely happy to be back in SNU. The last time Seokjin went his was on Jonghoon's first day in premed. While he could drag his other friends in here, they're mostly busy.

Jonghoon pouts at him and he turns around to see an approaching Ryeowook. He stands up straight, "Um, Ryeowook, this is Seokjin. My cousin."

"You're the one from Hanyang, right?" Ryeowook recalls and Seokjin nods, stretching out his hand for a shake.

"Hyung has told me a lot about you," Seokjin says with a hint of teasing. Jonghoon nudges him a bit hard, with Seokjin faking his expression while rubbing his shoulders. Ah, Kim Seokjin and his mouth. He could just blabber about his embarrassing moments without Jonghoon noticing.

Jonghoon clears his throat, grabbing the 4th Kim's wrist a bit harshly, "Well we're going now. We have to get home or else Pi— Hyesung hyung's going to explode."

Ryeowook chuckles and waves at them, hollering a "nice to meet you finally, Seokjin-ssi!" before he also turns around to leave. Walking in the opposite direction, Seokjin yanks his wrist away from the older cousin's grip. Jonghoon mumbles an apology quickly, clutching back to the bag pack's straps.

They pass by the line of lamp posts illuminating the path. It was quiet; Jonghoon lets the younger take in the twilight sky in SNU's vast campus. It's the same view that took the 2nd Kim's breath away. Whenever he feels tired due to the whole day of classes, he looks up at the mix of orange, pink, and purple hue occupying the skies. It makes him grounded, giving him enough time to breathe.

"So," Seokjin starts as they walk, "that was the famous Kim Ryeowook."

Jonghoon nods. He doesn't want to talk about it. Just thinking about it makes his head hurt.

"He's a nice guy. You should invite him over," Seokjin points out as they make a turn to the nearest gate.

Jonghoon thinks about the suggestion. _He should, shouldn't he?_

Grabbing the younger by the shoulder, Jonghoon dips his body to do a headlock with his arms. Seokjin's head traps in the older's arm, ruffling his head, while the younger whines at the action. They're definitely back at their own pace.

"Where do you want for dinner?" Jonghoon lets the younger free. He watches as Seokjin pats down his clothes, straightening his black coat.

"Anything, although I _am_ craving for Mom's Touch."

Jonghoon then tugs the younger by the arm, dragging him to the exit near the said restaurant. He never liked eating outside of the campus, since it's more expensive and bland cafeteria food gives him enough energy. But this, this is the first time he'll enjoy eating outside. As long as Seokjin's around, he'll get through his social life. And his damn feelings with Kim Ryeowook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pardon for seokjin's exposure here! but i believe yesung needs some enlightenment from someone + he needs to catch up w the 4th kim as well 🤣
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! see you at the next one!  
> follow me on twt: @hyesunggyeols / @codenametitanic


	12. Sunflowers

"Blue _actually_ looks good on you hyung!"

"But does it make my butt look big?"

"Of all concerns, why do you care if it does?"

"It looks like a perfect fit on you, Hyesung hyung!"

"Oh, thank you Jungsoo-yah!"

The pastel blue suit finally fits him. In the previous one, Pilkyo had to hold his breath to fit in. The sleeves were too small for his arms and he couldn't even button the jacket. He started to doubt if the nightly Zumba workouts were worth it when the tailor stepped in to apologize that he didn't get the right measurements. While that irritated the older, he was still thankful that his suit was done. Underneath the toned-down orange tie, a white dress shirt peeks through. Pilkyo spins around to ask if the jacket is better buttoned or not. "Buttoned, you look much more formal," Sunggyu says, eyeing the button.

Chungjae scrunches his nose but agrees to the 2nd Kim's suggestion. "All groomsmen must be buttoned then, to be identical."

Pilkyo nods, turning his back once again to the trio. Chungjae planned to have all of his groomsmen fit all together, but Pilkyo wanted a separate session. Probably to voice out his opinions or to be himself. Most of Chungjae's groomsmen were unfamiliar to Pilkyo, except Dongwan.

They were conveniently separated into two groups. Pilkyo and Dongwan are Chungjae's groomsmen, while Sunho's best man is Junghyuk and one of his groomsmen is Minwoo. Even though they are considered as a friend group, they individually partook in the couple's lives. Pilkyo is Chungjae's best friend. A testimony to this friendship is their nicknames to each other — Junjin for Pilkyo, Chungjae gave him Hyesung.

"I think I'm okay with this," Pilkyo says as he looks at his back for the last time, checking if there are any loosely-fitted areas or tight spaces in his suit.

The tailor smiles brightly and the trio nod all together. Chungjae was the most satisfied; he was able to pacify the most diva member in the group.

Chungjae reiterates to the tailor his wedding plans and the shipping date of the suits. They leave the shop and made their way to the nearest Chinese restaurant. Chungjae offered to treat them, but Pilkyo insisted to pay half. "I don't want to hear any financial crisis because of you two spending too much!"

The younger ones thank them for the meal and started to catch up. Jungsoo mentions that his friends have a picnic on Yonsei, answering Sunggyu's question. The latter spotted his older brother preparing a huge bag, mostly stuffed with snacks and a blanket. "Is Jonghoon hyung in charge of the blanket?" Sunggyu asks.

Jungsoo nods, "He _insisted_ to be in charge of the blankets. Since Ryeowookie mostly brings it."

Sunggyu chuckles. His hyung and his love troubles.

"Oh, thank you for accompanying us, Sunggyu-ah!" Chungjae says after finishing chewing one bite of _tangsuyuk_ , "You sure it wasn't a bother?"

The 3rd Kim shakes his head. "I don't have classes for today so it's fine."

They continued to eat silently, occasionally talking about the final wedding preparations. The couple targets to finish everything relating to South Korea this month and start to finalize the wedding once they arrive in the US in the last week of November. It took them almost a year to get everything ready.

"But I don't understand why the theme is 'spring in the middle of winter.' What does that suppose to mean?" Sunggyu asks in the middle of the conversation.

Not everyone knows the real reason behind that theme. Chungjae explains it simply, "Dy and I met during a tumultuous time. Ever since then, it felt like despite the chaos, he was a warm ray of sunshine in my life."

Pilkyo was a personal witness to their budding love. Sunho's parents were skeptical of Chungjae, even though they were best friends. It took Chungjae a few months to prove himself worthy of Sunho. Their youngest friend's family is very conservative, but when they realized that Chungjae makes the youngest happy, they didn't dare to meddle more. " _As long as Sunho's sure with what he's doing, we're giving our blessing_ ," Chungjae told him over the phone, sharing the good news to his friends.

For Pilkyo, the theme was more than just the initial rejection of Chungjae in Sunho's family. It was way before the families were concerned. Back then, Chungjae was unsure of his feelings and he knew that he likes girls. When Sunho came, questions circled in his mind as unnatural feelings emerged. Pilkyo was Chungjae's pillar — he helped him sort out his feels, validating that he's still fine, telling him to take it one step at a time.

With the elder's guidance, Chungjae comfortably broke out of his shell and declare his love for Sunho. In no time, the younger accepted his declaration. And the rest was history.

They were a perfect match.

Talks about the wedding suddenly gave Pilkyo some realizations about his relationship with Junghyuk. Dongwan is urging him to get married once Chungjae and Sunho tie the knot. But he kept on dodging it. Nobody needs to know _why_ he still doesn't want to get married. It's not _their_ business. And he and Junghyuk already talked about it.

" _Not now_ ," Pilkyo remembers telling his boyfriend, " _Once my board exam ends. We'll get married._ "

_More like once Seungkwan and Seokmin step in uni,_ then _we'll get married_ , Pilkyo thinks again as he hears Chungjae finishing explaining his history with Sunho.

Jungsoo looks bored, he probably heard the story countless times, but there's a glint in his eyes that he's happy that his older brother has finally found his The One.

"How are you and Youngwoon by the way?" Pilkyo then asks, slipping the question without any thought. But he's curious as to how the strong, young man has been doing. Blame it on unavailable Jonghoon and his work.

Jungsoo's eyes characteristically shaped into crescents, smiling ever so brightly. Finally, someone asking about his life. "He's doing great, Hyesung hyung! I don't know any baseball lingos, but I do know he's the ace of the varsity team."

Youngwoon has been athletic, as Jonghoon would describe him. On one occasion, the 2nd Kim invited Pilkyo to watch a baseball match between Yonsei and KU. It was a fierce battle. Pilkyo could still make out Youngwoon's fiery eyes while staring at the hitter, determined to win the final match.

They finish their lunch and parted ways once they step out of the restaurant. Jungsoo still has to fly to Yonsei for the picnic, while Pilkyo and Chungjae get back to work. Before the cousins part ways, Pilkyo asked the younger Kim. "What about you Gyu-ah?"

Sunggyu points a thumb behind him, "I'll go back home. I need to finish reviewing for the LEET."

Pilkyo beams widely, reaching his hand to ruffle the top of the younger's head. He tells Sunggyu to text him once he reaches the apartment while pulling Chungjae away.

It was a productive day for Sunggyu, despite the only thing he did was watch the eldest Kim fitting his suit. Pilkyo hyung wearing a suit without any diva tantrums? A dream come true for Kim Sunggyu.

Making a turn to the right, his phone rings and immediately answers it, not even bothering to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

" _Hyung, I set up Yoongi with Sungjong!_ " Wonshik giddily informs him over the phone.

Sunggyu stops on his tracks. "Wait, _what?!_ How?!"

He could feel Wonshik having the jitters — the exciting kind. " _I kind of made a deal with Yoongi that if I want him to have a date with Jjong, then I should help Joon with his project. I had to agree._ "

Sunggyu chuckles. Contrary to popular belief, the 3rd Kim is aware of Seokjin's dilemmas with Namjoon. One of the dilemmas is indirectly telling Wonshik not to collaborate of any sorts with his former flame. Which is a dick move, Sunggyu believes. But as long as Seokjin knows what's he's doing, then he has no right to meddle.

Wonshik is a grown-up lad. He has the freedom to assist anyone that he wants. Seokjin doesn't have to meddle.

Anyway, this is not a problem. Sungjong's love life must be drying up and Wonshik is desperate to set him up on a date with Yoongi. Sunggyu thinks it's an unlikely pairing — given that Sungjong has those intense diva tantrums and Yoongi gets annoyed fast. How in the world would Wonshik play matchmaker?

"Well, try not to let them eat each other alive. I don't want to go home and receive a call from Sungjong telling me his disastrous date," Sunggyu tells the 5th Kim before he hears an " _I won't!_ " and hangs up.

Approaching the bus stop, Sunggyu smiles as he replays the conversation. With all the stress running around his mind, funny events like these make him a bit sane. At least he still knows how to smile.

The bus arrives and he sits down near the back door. A few passengers were already inside the bus. His phone vibrates and hastily opens it, maybe a message from Myungsoo or Bomi or the program committee. The phone lights up, flashing a message from no other than Nam Woohyun.

Nam Woohyun knows he doesn't have classes today. And he doesn't send messages on his free day, except when homework or a project is due.

The message was a picture — Woohyun wearing a face mask holding a bouquet of sunflowers — and Sunggyu squints a little harder. Is he in front of their apartment?!

Obscenities scream in his mind. How did he know where he lives?! Who in the world told him his humble abode?! _Fuck_ , good thing no one is at home!

**To: Namu**

What the fuck are you doing there?!

**From: Namu**

I have a surprise for you!

Where are you?!

I've been waiting for so long! :((((

He groans inwardly.

**To: Namu**

I accompanied Hyesung hyung

WTF!!!

Just stay there!

Why did this tree appear out of nowhere?! And what was in his hands?!

For the first time, the trip back home was excruciatingly long.

* * *

Jungkook's voice echoes in the four walls of the auditorium. Everyone is quiet as they listen to his wail, followed by a monologue that makes Seokjin surprised. The younger is passionate about plays and stage performances, but Seokjin had underestimated his abilities. He should've listened to Jimin.

A piano version of _My Time_ floated in the air. Seokjin spots Soonyoung skillfully hitting the right notes. Soonyoung had this rearranged version approved by the last minute. The playwright was taken aback by the younger's capabilities.

Seokjin quickly snaps a photo of Jungkook — he's looking up as if conveying his emotions to the ceiling — and sends it to Jimin. The picture has an accompanying _Your boyfriend acts well_ 😮.

Daehwi claps in excitement when the female lead — a lovely student named Chaeyeon — exits the stage. So far, this was the most perfect rundown of the play. Seokjin has been joining the production, coaching them in every step. Sometimes he steps back to let them do all the work, other times he joins Daehwi. Everyone is nervous whenever the playwright watches them. Every movement and every dialogue must be precisely conveyed with the correct emotion. The props must be strategically placed well.

There were a lot of underestimations in Seokjin's part. The drama club managed to slim down the play from the 3-hour running time to 2 hours. When he checked the script, it looked like there was nothing removed from the original play. Seungkwan was one of the scriptwriters, working diligently in communicating between the club and his cousin and describing the alternative scenes to co-writers. Actors also have done their part well — Seokjin suddenly felt like he was included in the story. The props were beautifully made despite the given time frame was too short.

This drama club is no joke.

Seokjin flips through the script given to him. It's a new one, as he notices the additional scenes and the music cues. The old one was filled with writings in different colors, small sticky notes, and pencil markings. They probably noted a lot of suggestions and changes in some scenes, so they provided Seokjin with a new one.

Only a few pages were scribbled down with notes. It's an improvement since the production is getting better. Despite pouring their blood, sweat, and tears for this project, they have to still focus on their studies — most especially for the seniors.

He stands up and makes his way to Daehwi, who was still in the middle of talking one committee head at a time. Sitting down on a free seat beside the director/president's table, Seokjin cranes his head to look for his cousins. Seungkwan is nowhere to be seen since the end of the act, probably bustling around backstage. Seokmin is seated beside Soonyoung, flipping through a clear book.

"Ah, hyung-nim! How was the play?" he was snapped out of his daze when Daehwi calls him, driving him to stand up automatically and flip open a few pages.

"Everything is perfect! Although we need to check back on some props and the transition of scenes. There are still a few improvements but it can be polished," Seokjin says as points lines with asterisks on them. Daehwi and 2-3 members of the production circle around him, taking notes of every single detail he mentions.

"Overall, I have no problems and I'm sure that you'll be able to pull this off by December," Seokjin compliments and they clap in excitement. The vibrant personalities of these kids gave Seokjin inspiration to focus on his play. Everything is already in the works and he couldn't wait to get back on it.

"Thank you hyung-nim!" Daehwi bows repeatedly, Seokjin stopping him because he was getting too flustered by the high respect given to him. He never got this kind of respect. It makes him feel valued at some point.

"Oh, hyung-nim, we're inviting you to watch the play! You can invite anyone, just please let us or Seungkwan know," Daehwi says and Seokjin suddenly considers this. It's been a while since he last saw a production of his play, most especially for _Epiphany_. While it harbors unpleasant memories, Seokjin thinks that, like the play, it could give him some sort of realization. So far, it has given him _many_ realizations. And the playwright loves that.

Seokjin nods, telling him that he'll relay it to Seungkwan once he has made his mind. Daehwi bows again and excuses himself, calling the youngest Kim to accompany his cousin. The playwright doesn't mind if he's alone, as he knows that Seungkwan and Seokmin are busy as well.

Which reminds him — he should talk to Soonyoung about the arrangements. It's a nice version.

His phone rings. Without checking who it was, he answers it almost immediately, "Hm?"

" _Where are you?! Are you sick?!_ " Hoseok's frantic voice bellows in his ear. While a worried Hoseok is a scary Hoseok, Seokjin chuckles in return. "I'm in Seungkwan's and Seokmin's high school. Watching their play."

Hoseok then lets out an exasperated sigh, " _Wait, for the whole afternoon? So you didn't go to school today?_ "

"Nope. I'm ahead of some of my classes so I skipped. I'm fine, don't worry," Seokjin lets him know. They talked a little more, with Seokjin praising Jungkook's acting skills and Hoseok mentioning about Yoongi's date with Sungjong.

"It's kind of weird to hear that Yoong is suddenly fond of Sungjong, even though my little brother set them up," Seokjin wonders as he lazily flips through the script.

Hoseok snorts, " _Oh please, hyung. Wonshik hyung did that because we all know Yoongi hyung needs someone. He's getting a bit cranky._ "

The older between the two chuckles. He knows how Yoongi is _deprived_ , the last one being a few years ago. It was amicable but Seokjin knows his best friend still hasn't moved on. He would have to thank Wonshik for setting the two up.

"I almost forgot," Seokjin says as he turns around, his back facing the stage, "So remember I'm helping this play out, right? Well... It's an adaptation of _Epiphany_ and their director is inviting me to watch their opening. I could bring along other people too."

It's a known fact that Seokjin usually doesn't watch adaptations of his plays. He only watches them once — the opening night — then wouldn't bother to watch it again. Mostly because he associates it with Kim Namjoon. Their promise of watching Seokjin's creations together vanished when they also broke up. Friends would urge him to watch with them, but Seokjin would just wave them off. They got used to it and never bothered to go to any performances again.

But when Hoseok heard that Seokjin might consider watching this, he lets out a banshee scream. Seokjin swears his right ear exploded and the whole auditorium might've heard it. Seokjin rushes to leave the auditorium, bursting out of the doors and leaning against the wall. "YAH! Don't do that again! I might go deaf because of you!"

" _What did you do to the old Seokjin?!_ " Hoseok is becoming ecstatic over the phone. While Seokjin is still annoyed with his sudden outburst, he's glad that Hoseok didn't forget about the long-forgotten tradition. " _I mean, I can't believe a play organized by Seungkwan would_ finally _let you watch your play!_ "

Seokjin hopes that it would continue. It's fine if he won't be with Namjoon this time around. He'll be with his friends. And he's sure as hell that Jimin would be jumping from wall to wall once he invites him. The younger would probably wear those sports cheering stuff _just_ to cheer on Jungkook. The 4th Kim could already feel the secondhand embarrassment.

It's like hitting two birds with one stone, _again_.

"I'll let you know if when's the play. I'm still considering it —"

" _No questions asked, Kim Seokjin. Just go for it!_ " Hoseok says and Seokjin feels a burst of energy running in his veins.

This newfound excitement came as a surprise. It's different but it's making him feel good. It's a sign that everything will be okay.

After the call, he reenters the auditorium to see Seungkwan talking to another student and Seokmin with Soonyoung. Judging by their actions, the others look like the stepsiblings' someone special. Seokjin is bad with names so he's glad that the two still haven't introduced their group of friends to him. Jonghoon knows some of them and Pilkyo is aware of the Yoon siblings.

Looks like today is his lucky day.

He approaches them with a gentle demeanor. Seokmin then spots him and he waves exaggeratedly. Seungkwan follows his direction and he calls out his name. Seokjin breaks into a jog and stops a few inches away from them.

"Hyung! This is Hansol. Hansol, this is my cousin Seokjin hyung," Seungkwan introduces and Seokjin holds out a hand. The young man named Hansol shakes his hand back. Seokjin notices how he has a different face compared to other Koreans. "Hansol's half-American. He entered school when we were in 8th grade."

Seokjin nods and starts to get to know him. He's Seungkwan's best friend and they have the same sense of humor. They also have the same behavior. Two peas in a pod. But there's something in Seungkwan's behavior that conveys something else. Seokjin notices how wide the younger's smile is and how he looks more relaxed. Of course, he's relaxed with his other friends but this is a different kind of relaxation.

They bicker. And Seokjin might have heard one of Seungkwan's rants a few days ago. _Oh, so this is the guy he's talking about_ , the 4th Kim thinks while he observes the two.

Daehwi yells out that practice is over and thanks to everyone for their cooperation. He also yells his gratitude to Seokjin, with Seokjin bowing several times while waving. He mentions the music club led by Soonyoung and Seokjin notices how enthusiastic Seokmin's clap is.

Does Seokjin miss something or...?

They leave the premises and Seungkwan breaks away from Hansol. "I'll video chat you later?" the other asks and Seungkwan nods. The youngest Kim retreats to Seokjin's side and Seokjin smirks, "So... Hansol..."

Seungkwan giggles, "I'll tell you everything once we get home."

They both chuckle and when they turn around, they see Seokmin and Soonyoung holding hands. Seokjin blinks, while Seungkwan rubs his eyes several times to see if what's he's seeing is real. The two share a hug before Seokmin — or Soonyoung, Seokjin's not sure — reluctantly lets go of their hands. When the 6th Kim strolled towards their place, the two cousins avert their gaze.

"What are we going to do now?" Seokmin coolly asks. Seungkwan feels squeamish; he needs to extract the new information from his stepsibling _immediately_.

It looks like Seokjin could telepathically hear him, so the eldest among the three asked them to eat at the nearest café in school. The walk didn't take long and Seokmin found himself in the threatening gaze of his stepbrother and step-cousin.

"So," Seungkwan drawls, fingers tapping on the wooden table, "what's the real score between you and Soonyoung hyung?"

Seokmin breaks into a smile and the cousins knew this would be a long conversation. They have all the time they need. Besides, they need do a break.

* * *

The afternoon breeze envelopes everyone seated on Yonsei's grassy campus. Other students are found lying down or seated upright with a book on their lap. The picnic today was organized by the Yonsei people but Jonghoon volunteered to bring a huge blanket.

Study materials were scattered in edges of the blanket. A laptop is strategically placed in front of the group but Siwon's head is blocking the view. When he leaned back, three of their friends were already on screen.

"Henry-ah! Zhou Mi-ah! Hankyung-ah!" Jungsoo calls out and everyone gathered closer. Heechul sounded dramatic when he saw his boyfriend even though Jonghoon witnessed them talking to each other a few hours ago.

They got to catch up with each other. Siwon announces formally about the joint fair with KU; Zhou Mi informs them that he and Henry would be flying to Seoul for their Christmas vacation; everyone wished Donghae good luck for his LEET, as well as to Jonghoon for Sunggyu. This picnic is basically what Jonghoon needed: a breather from all those textbooks and great food that everyone brought in with them.

But Jonghoon couldn't get his eyes off of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. The 2nd Kim is glad he's situated at the farther end of the blanket, sandwiched between Heechul and Kibum. They were increasingly getting comfortable with each other and Jonghoon would always look away. While he's uncomfortable with it — their friends would always put off public displays of affection around the others — he's also increasingly aware of the raging emotions consuming him.

Well, this is not just an infatuation.

He's falling in love hard. With his best friend. With Kim Ryeowook.

Heechul notices the uneasiness in Jonghoon's face and he sends a smirk to Hyukjae, who was seated near the clingy couple. Hyukjae then sends a frown towards Jonghoon, and the latter sees how uncomfortable Sungmin is. It's complicated to look at it at every angle.

Jonghoon thinks that Heechul knows something. Hyukjae doesn't. Sungmin probably feels the same way as he is. Either way, he still managed to enjoy the company of his friends. He pushes off the weird feelings and continued to eat the blueberry cheesecake that Shindong personally made.

They parted ways, sending their well-wishes and good luck to Donghae and Youngwoon — the latter gearing for the baseball team's final match. Everyone promised to watch, with Jonghoon joking that they'll still support him even though they're seated at the SNU benches.

Jonghoon is aggressively folding the blanket while Hyukjae and Heechul waited for him. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun already went ahead, with Kyuhyun's hand snaking around Ryeowook's waist. That probably might've sent Jonghoon off.

"Yah, don't hurt the blanket," Heechul says. Damn with these feelings indeed. He didn't realize he was hurting the poor blanket due to his aggressiveness.

Hyukjae crosses and pats his best friend's back. While he does want to lighten up his mood, Jonghoon might chuck the blanket at him harshly. Hyukjae's not prepared for that.

Jonghoon couldn't suppress these feelings any longer. "Hyung, do you know anything about Kyu and Ryeowook?"

The feelings were eating him alive. While he could just ask them straightforward, Jonghoon thinks that he's invading their privacy. Ryeowook finally mentioned the relationship but he didn't indulge him further. " _We just, you know, clicked,_ " the younger had said and the older swore his heart broke. Why didn't he act further?

Heechul looks at him incredulously. Was Jonghoon too forward? A bit too confront? But he wanted to know the reasons.

"Kind of glad you finally got out of your senses, Kim Jonghoon," Heechul says and he leaves Jonghoon speechless and Hyukjae's mouth gaping.

The 2nd Kim runs toward Heechul, the blanket on his arm, while Hyukjae rushes beside his hyung, "What do you mean _getting out of your senses_? Did you set that up, hyung?!"

Heechul gives them a smirk, sighing almost dreamily with the revelations. "Did you notice how Ryeowook's eyes looked when you and Siwon were talking? He looks like he could murder someone."

Why in the world would Ryeowook give him _that_ look? Siwon is with Kibum and they're talking about the upcoming joint fair since Sunggyu is in the committee. Ryeowook knows that he and Siwon are close friends.

"Does Ryeowook know something that I don't know...?" Jonghoon asks and Heechul gives them _another_ smirk. Jonghoon swears he could leave his best friend there and drag Hyukjae with him. Heechul's not helping here!

But Heechul slings his arms around Jonghoon and Hyukjae. "Gentlemen, I have some tea to spill. Shall we stay with Jonghoonie's humble abode?"

"Yah! Let me tell my cousins that you're crashing in!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the dreaded chapter 11, the chapter that i didn't know how to approach 🤣 but it's finally out! i hope you guys enjoyed this (very long) chapter~
> 
> follow me on twt! ([@hyesunggyeols](twitter.com/hyesunggyeols) / [@codenametitanic](twitter.com/codenametitanic))


End file.
